Scratchers. They are a brand of human who enjoy a scratch. I myself enjoy a scratch or two every now and then, when necessary, but, I think it’s safe to say, majority, actually all types of scratching are always, enjoyable to the scratcher, and completely irritating for those surrounding The Scratcher. Yes? I believe so.
So I’m just here, minding my own business, when, oh, what’s that? What’s that sound coming at me from my right? Like fingernails scratching upon sand paper. And it may as well be, because what do you know, I have sat myself down next to a Scratcher.
Okay, you scratch. You scratch that itch. Scratch that itch until it don’t itch no more. You know it annoys me. You see my eyeballs turn towards you and your frustratingly creepy scratching. You know you’re in public right? We are sitting, in the quiet area. And do you suppose your scratching is quiet? Do you really? Yet, you see me give you ‘the look’, and you continue to pleasure yourself, you are absolutely great. And the scratching continues.
Luckily, this was not the worst case scenario that I myself have experienced in this seventeen year lifetime, give or take (give because I am older than seventeen).
As this scratching noise continues to bleed my ears, I remember back to a time, I think it was possibly the year 2010, I sat myself down on a train in the morning, I suppose I was listening to Taylor Swift, as you do. Actually, hold on, I don’t think I was listening to anything, I think my iPod was broken, forgot it, lost it, lost the earphones, because the purpose of this story is – yet to be disclosed (though I suppose you have a general idea).
Gazing pensively out the window, I, a fifteen year old teenager from school is annoyingly taking up a paying passengers seat (not the point). And all of a sudden. What’s that?! What’s that crusty sound? Oh no! It comes from straight ahead! It’s getting louder! It situates half a metre away from my face! And it is the worst (actually sorry not the worst) case of head scratching. (I have luckily not experienced crotch scratching, not that I remember).
It sounded literally like, a broom on sandpaper. What lies in that hair? Can it be thou dandruff? Can it be thou disgusting? Yes well I think she may or may not of had a weave (actually people with weaves hit their heads…).
Also there’s blackboard scratching. Guess that’s the worst…
Just Another Woo Girl