Why dost thou smell?

When thou is on public transport, thou might experience a pungent smell.  Thou knowest where thou pungent smell comes from.  It derives from that person who just sat down next to you.  Dost thou knowest thou smellest?

I believe this to a most common occurrence on public transport.  There are two types of smelly people, those who wear too much cologne or have suffered from an overdose of perfume, and those who just plain stink.  And so you, an average civilian, sit yourself down on a seat, let’s say, on a train.  You sit there, enjoying your music, gazing pensively out the window onto the barricade of trees that aim to block the visual hazard of trains from road dwellers.  Carefree, you relax.

The train comes to a slow halt.  It’s the third stop.  You watch as people board the train and climb up the steps to the level where you reside, as they walk past, you look outside, or down, you like to have a seat to yourself.  Suddenly, no sorry, moderately paced-ly, you see, from the very corner of your eye, someone standing beside your seat.  They hold their bags in front of them and sit down.

It’s either one of three people:

1.  Unscented.
2.  Scent explosion.
3.  Stink bomb.

Most of the time, you’ll be lucky, and get type number one.  Though on those special moments, you will be graced with type two or three, three being the most detrimental.

So what does thou-est do in this situation?  Does thou:

a)  Get up and move to a different seat.
b)  Pretend to get off the train and move to a different carriage.
c)  Use all power to withstand the everlasting pungency.

Being the polite person I am, I’d go with a).  Just kidding.  The problem with a) is that, well, it’s just plain rude.  Then you might also think, your pungency is just plain rude.

Well b) would be the most obvious solution, if you want to save your own smell, because I’m pretty sure smells are contagious, especially when being in such a close vicinity for a prolonged period of time…  Though, you run the risk of seeing them or them seeing you as they realise that, you have not left the train but skulked away from the scene of the smell.  (Though maybe you went to meet and friend but, that doesn’t help the purposes of this).

So being the polite person that I am, and that you of course are, we would choose c).  To heroically endure the sweltering pithiness of this person.

Now, I say heroically because, imagine if thou is riding a tin can train in the hot Australian summer, it’s forty degrees outside, everyone around is sweating like hogs, the air is humid and your bare skin clings to the leather seat.  And you, superman/woman, choose, to endure, on top of all this, a pungency that cannot be overridden by a simple task of deodorising, you, my reader, are a hero to all that choose a) and b).

Smell ya later,
Just Another Woo Girl


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