What Karen is doing to Jimmy makes me so sad! I just want to rip out my heart and let the tears gush from my soul… She begged him to open up to her, that she couldn’t be with him if he didn’t tell her the truth about his past. And when he finally did, when he finally opened his soul to her, opened up a part of him that he wanted to forget and leave behind him, she runs away in disgust. She is so cruel to him now; Jimmy hasn’t hurt her in any way. The only reason she doesn’t like him anymore is because of his past. A person who he was no longer, and didn’t want to be. She pushed him away because of someone he was, and now who he is, is recoiling back to someone he was, who he doesn’t want to be.
She’s cut him off completely, ignoring his existence, there’s no compassion, no empathy. He’s hurting, his heart was twisted and squashed by her. The only person he opens up to, is the one who rejects him. He took the risk she wanted him to, that she asked him to, and she left.
Jimmy was trying to protect his closest friend Kyle, and for that, he is punished. I know Kyle has been there for him, supporting him, helping and saving him from himself when he was at his worst. But now that he’s relapsed, he is a lost cause. Karen made Kyle turn away and leave Jimmy in a downward spiral.
I get what he meant when he said to Jimmy that he has to help himself, that he can’t be there as his backbone anymore. Kyle was his safety blanket, someone he could trust to help and protect him when he needed him. It seems as though, Kyle has separated his friendship with Jimmy from Hit List. Jimmy doesn’t understand this, he feels as though Kyle is putting himself and the show ahead of their friendship.
Karen tells Kyle to leave him, to end their friendship right at that moment, because if he waits he will lose his courage. What he is losing by ending it right then and there, isn’t his courage, it’s his rationality. If Jimmy is in a downward spiral, which he is, I guess Jimmy needs to realise this himself before his friends can help. But now he has no friends. If in time he gets on his feet, he will have to put away his pride to ask his friends for their help, or even their friendship.
What is the right thing to do in situation? I wouldn’t leave Jimmy. But then again, Kyle has helped him out through so many things, and so many downfalls. Is it that the right thing to do is to leave Jimmy alone, to let him hit rock bottom and for himself to realise he needs to change. Or is the right thing to do, is to stay with Jimmy, keep on trying, even if it’s hurting you?
I think maybe Kyle is right to have left Jimmy, but to have let Jimmy know he will always be there for him, but for now, he just can’t handle it all. And that when Jimmy is ready, Kyle will be there waiting. But what if Jimmy shows up the next day saying he’s changed but hasn’t. It seems like the only thing Jimmy can do is to make an entirely new life for himself, with new people, in order to change.
But he’s gone back to his old life. How will he escape this time? If Jimmy goes back to dealing drugs, there’s no one to save him. Kyle’s not here anymore. He saved him the last time, but this time it’s different, because it’s the same.
Smash is amazing and I love all the original songs for Hit List, and Bombshell. I love them both so much, I love Jimmy, and I loved Jimmy and Karen together. I love Ivy’s new independent persona, she is amazing, she is an amazing Marilyn. Is Kyle going to die? Right before he gets hit, I was feeling all the empathy for Jimmy, left out in the cold. But if Kyle dies, what will this do to Jimmy?
Hit List reminds me of Spring Awakening. I love Spring Awakening. I wish someone would take Hit List to Broadway. Sam isn’t right for the role of Jesse. Jesse is innately Jimmy. Jimmy is Jesse. Don’t Let Me Know, is written by Jesse in Hit List, and was written and sung by Jimmy. “You won’t pull me close, but you can’t let go,” is exactly how Jimmy feels about Karen. He wouldn’t open up to Karen, but he still wanted to be with her. She was the one. But now, it’s changed, Karen won’t be close with Jimmy, won’t share his secrets, and love him for them, not simply despite them.
I just want them to love each other, and be together, no matter what. Just makes me sad. Oh Jimmy…
Just Another Woo Girl
P.s. Smash erks every sense in my body, every emotion, and I feel it compress against my chest and my soul. The music, the lyrics, the story, the emotions, I can feel it all. Amazing.