The Wanted is here and I am also here, but not with them

It’s kind of really depressing thinking about this…  I’d always thought, one day, it’s inevitable that I’ll finally get to meet all the boys of One Direction, and The Wanted again, forming unforgettable and everlasting memories and possibly friendships with them all.  This, mostly to comfort myself after they’ve visited Sydney and I didn’t meet them, or create the everlasting friendship that I suppose all fans wish to make, some sort of corny instant connection…  It makes me so sad that no one will follow them around with me in this attempt.

But then it also seems to me that if I were a big enough, crazed enough fan, I’d just go by myself.  But I wouldn’t, and I don’t really want to.  But then I think, I do want to, I should go anyway.

What I’m really getting at is that The Wanted are in Sydney right now, they are here, in my city, roaming around, being amazing, and I’m always somewhere else.  I’m in the city, maybe only kilometres away but I’m not with them.  I can’t see them.  What is life when it is lived without the things you love?  I feel like there are all these infinite opportunities that I’m cowering away from, all these things I want to do but am just not proactive enough to fulfil.  I’m referring specifically and only to meeting these amazing musicians I am crazy fans of.

I wanted to wait for Ed Sheeran outside the backstage door, but no one would come with me.  Seriously, fuck.  It’s literally what people do after concerts, musicals, and everything, to take photos of them, or with them, or simply wave at them getting into their cars to leave the venue.  Oh life, what a hand you’ve dealt me.  Is there any career I can pursue apart from fame to become apart of this world?

My sister is 27 now and she’s never met the Backstreet Boys.  I wonder if I’ll ever meet One Direction.  This makes my heart want to burst into tears and drown my room…  I suppose she doesn’t particularly want to anymore, but they are going on tour again!  I don’t think to Australia though…

Ah my psychology essay which I still haven’t finished.  You know it’s two weeks late now, that’s twenty marks…  And that’s my life.  I’ve still got to write about another 250 words, and I’m not in the zone, I don’t remember what I’m arguing or what I’m really talking about anymore. Life sucks.

I wish I was just travelling around as The Wanted’s or One Direction’s stage manager or something, I don’t even care, toilet cleaner, tour bus aerator, I don’t know.

I wanted to go out to a friends birthday on Saturday but now I don’t think I can since I’ve actually been offered a job and start on Sunday at 9am…  I want to be fresh for my first day yet, I just want to have fun…  I think if my friend wants to go then I’ll go, and then leave a bit earlier if it’s not that great, and if it is, just suck it up the next day and have a red bull.  But if not, then on the bright side, I’ll be making some money for future fun times…  I’m working for four hours, so I’ll be making like forty I think…  I don’t even know.

It’s almost midnight, it’s almost Wednesday.  In a few more hours after that The Wanted, Jay my most loved, will be on Sunrise in Martin Place and I won’t be.  Most likely I’ll be in bed.  But the thing is, I could actually be there, physically.  I don’t start classes until 2pm which leaves me a massive amount of time.  I love them so much.  From the first time to the day I die, it will be them (and One Direction).  They can bicker, but I still love them both.  Love is real.  This love is real.

What am I even doing with my life.  I feel like I’m not doing anything worthwhile, my studies are merely an action I repeat.  I’m not even diligent in that.  Sigh pie.  So annoyed my tea isn’t hot anymore otherwise I’d drink it through a Tim Tam.

You know what, I don’t even have a gift for the boys so I kind of feel bad, well I feel inadequate.  I wish they were having a concert.  I love them so much.  I love their music, and their personalities, they are incredible.  Poor Nathan, he’s still suffering from his sickness and didn’t get to perform tonight, or for ages.  I hope he gets better.  All my love.

I’m tired now…

Sleepy,
Just Another Woo Girl

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