5 Reasons Why You Can’t Get Over Your Almost-Relationship

Thought Catalog

1. There’s no closure.

Humans crave closure. There’s an inherent desire for it — all the stories we never learn the endings to, the movies we never finish, the seasons of TV shows that leave us with more questions than answers so we turn to blogs and the internet to vent our frustration. We need closure in order to shelve things in our head and move on. But when you don’t get closure — when they drop off the face of the earth or suddenly spring a new significant other on social media — what do you do?

It’s hard to create your own closure, to grasp for signs that really don’t mean anything at all but to which we assign meaning. And it might seem ridiculous at first, like believing in magic or fairies, but sometimes, it’s the only thing we can do. We have to find meaning where there…

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Alrightio

Oh hey there.  It’s been a long time.  I would love to write a post saying how much things have changed, how organised and amazing I’ve become, but that’s just not the case.  However, although I’m not at a point in my life where I can say I am the best I can possibly be, I have actually improved a lot!  Now, that is not saying I was awful before, because that would just be unnecessary negativity.  I think it’s best to always think you can improve, but also to be happy with the way you are.  Sometimes negativity in the present can be a great motivator, but really that’s unhealthy, because once you’ve reached your goals, you’ll think oh no, this isn’t enough.  You can’t do things to make yourself happy if you aren’t already happy.  You have to always be happy in the position you’re in, but not complacent.  Why do I even bother explaining things like this, because I really can’t explain what I’m thinking properly, hence, why quotes are so popular.  

Anyway, that was the most bland thing I’ve ever written.  Moving on.  I have a psychology test tomorrow, and to be honest, it should be quite easy.  Except for the fact that I haven’t studied for it.  There isn’t even that much content, literally only a few work sheets from four tutorials, but you know, I don’t really even have motivation.  But I need to get motivated, right now!  I can’t wait for this semester to be over.  I don’t know what I’m going to do in the holidays, but I just know that all this study needs to end.  I’ve actually been studying quite consistently this year so far.  I’ve only handed in two things late I think.  I just really need myself to know that I simply cannot afford to fail anything for the rest of my academic career, especially at my university, because I will surely get kicked out.  But there’s something horrible, for my philosophy essay that is worth 50%, in which I half actually, probably 85% tried for, I literally got 53%.  What the fuck is this shit.  I mean this is arts, I should at least get 60!!!  I mean are you kidding me.  I also got 2 marks deducted after that for handing it in a day late which means I’m literally on the brink of failing this course, when I’ve handed everything in!!!  THIS IS TERRIFYING AND ALSO MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!  First of all, my tutor is actually crap.  Apparently she is good at logic type philosophy, but not the one she is being paid to tutor for.  She literally has no opinions, doesn’t know about meta-philosophy, so what the hell is she doing as our tutor?!  I cannot stand this.  And to only scrape a pass is ridiculous!!!  Even for Art History I got a higher mark, and probably failed some of the assessments since I knew jack-shit on it.  And to be honest, that was my fault because I didn’t study enough, and my tutor was really great so I did learn a lot in class, so if it wasn’t for him I’d probably fail.  But this tutorial is the worst ever and I do not gain anything from going to it.  Well at least there’s not participation marks for it because I’ve missed so many.  Hopefully I still make the cut-off…if there even is one.  

So after this unexpected rant I’ll go back to looking over my tutorial notes I suppose.  Good times.  I’m a bit tired from doing nothing all day except edit some photos from Friday night’s party and make food.  I tried to do gluten free brownie in a mug tonight, but I added too much salt so it wasn’t very tasty, so I threw it.  Oh well.  Nothing really compares to the gluten free funky fudge from WellCo, it’s the best. So chewy I can’t even handle it.  Jokes, I can.  Because I have the greatest sweet tooth of all time.

You know what fucking peeves me?  Is like, don’t get back with your ex’s unless you’ve changed.  And in this case, I don’t even care, just don’t do it, you fuck wit.  Maybe it’s cool maybe it isn’t, just don’t.  Okay now I’m getting frustrated inside.  This is not good prep for studying.  And I need to study.  Really, the need is real.  So, you’re a fuckwit and a little shit, and the next time I see you, I will smile, but inside I will be saying, “fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…etc.”.

Alrightio,
Just Another Woo Girl

I thought something was funny but I won’t say what

I don’t usually hahahahaha in my posts but today I’ll make an exception because I’m feeling slightly spritely at this moment besides also feeling sluggish from lying in bed all day.  If I don’t say why I’m hahaha-ing is this post kind of pointless?  Probably, but I don’t care.  I had fillings and a clean at the dentist today, I got needles, and half my face was numb.  I think I should drink more water, and try to read my tutorial notes so I can start recording my procrastination and study habits that I was supposed to start on Monday.  However, I can’t because I’m behind on readings for psychology, and basically all my subjects and it’s only week three.  I dunno, this post just doesn’t feel like it’s the right time to bring in the hahaha’s, but it’s been done and undoing it seems kind of, redundant.  I don’t know why I chose the word redundant, but hopefully you can assign some sort of understanding to what I actually mean by it, because I have no idea, and I’ll just agree that that is actually what I mean.  Maybe I meant what you mean but I didn’t even know it.  I have a bunch of lecture slides, notes and exercise notifications sitting in the printer downstairs.  Downstairs being the word of importance.  I feel like I want to just dance around my room so I can use some of this pent up energy (and not to mention unused calories) but I’m just not feeling it, I don’t have any music in mind.  Also to that, I have to update my iTunes because I’ve been listening to Halcyon by Ellie Goulding non-stop, with intermittent Katy and Marina and the Diamonds, and every so often just repeating some Miley because I only have two songs off her new album on my iTunes right now.  This is quite devastating.  So many readings to catch up on.  Today I was supposed to catch up on everything.  Oh my god, and I still have a brain and behaviour lecture to catch up on that I keep forgetting I’ve even missed.  How does one become organised???  Should I use my diary??  I think the answer is yes.  Okay, let me start using my forty dollar diary more thoroughly like I had in the past.  Oh my god, and also, where the hell are my really nice binders I used for school?  I had a mint fabric covered one and a gold metallic fabric covered one, both of which, were so nice.  I want to use those folders to start filing my notes in rather than these flimsy cardboard ones.  I mean, they’re nicely coloured, but the feel and touch of cardboard makes me sort of cringe.  I know, petty reasons, but…  No buts!!  But I’ll still but…  Anyway, I don’t even know.  Just so many funny things right now.  Not right now, but what I’ve discovered.  It’s kind of hilarious.  And also, I don’t know.  I was just thinking about love, and when I say love, I basically just mean romance in general.  It can be so, different, there are so many things that could happen, so many ways actual love can come to be or come to realise itself.  There’s no way of saying which one is the best and which one is the most long lasting, it just depends, on the people, the person, the everything surrounding the love.  Oh wow that last part sounded lame.  But I won’t delete it, because I feel like this post is a rant post.  Not for anyone else, just for me.  To vent things, just to type and think, but not ponder, okay, maybe ponder, but to not dwell.  I think sometimes, well a lot of the times (The Office) I dwell on thoughts.  And sometimes, when I’m reading about psychology I think, oh no, do I have a mental disorder?  Am I over thinking to the point where I could be classified under some sort of anxiety or depressive disorder (my inability to even name one actual disorder shows a vast gap in my understanding and my study of psychology, or if there even is a gap, maybe just an empty space, much like an abyss of nothingness.  Yes, I think that could be closer).  Oh my god, this whole last part seems a lot like dwelling.  Okay, let me move on.  I need to invest in some hand cream, a nice compact hand cream I can carry in my bag.  My hands are so dry right now, just, it’s uncomfortable.  I feel like my blog is very mundane and it’s often just talking about how I suck and venting stuff, but I do have lots of fun as well in my life.  I was about to add to the end of that sentence, “I suppose,” but I do!  I don’t know, I don’t blog about it because I feel as though the good things, are so ephemeral.  I just love that word.  And what I mean by that is what everyone always says, that kind of cliche saying, I don’t even remember the saying.  Just the one that says that you always remember the bad things more than the good things, especially when it comes to compliments and put downs, but I feel this a lot and also more in reference to the bad feels.  Yes, feels.  They’re not bad, well they are, but I mean nothing about death and things.  Just things that make you kind of anxious are the things you tend to think about the most.  And I think, that you have kind of a limit to the things you can think about all at the same time.  And if you’re thinking about something negative, and you keep thinking about negative things, you overtime squeeze out the positive and happy thoughts from your mind.  Not on purpose, just by habit.  I guess that’s why they say think positive, be optimistic.  Because once you hold onto something negative, your whole attitude is infected, and your mind becomes diseased.  At this point, just try your hardest to be positive, fake it till you make it, before it becomes epidemic.  But then at the same time I think that if you fake it you could also end up repressing feelings that you need to let go of, I guess it really depends on what exactly you’re dwelling upon…

Yes so anyway, tomorrow is a new day.  I don’t know why I say things like this, but it is.  You already knew that.  I don’t know.  I don’t know anything.  So funny though, I look in the mirror and I say to myself, “Oh my god pizza face” and laugh.  And then I’m like, “No!  Positive thinking!!  You look nice, me… Lol.”  Yeah I also say lol in my head, it’s kind of pathetic and not an attractive trait.  But you know, I used to “oh em gee,” and I also do that again, sometimes?

Cya,
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s.  These are basically the hashtags which made me laugh and want to blog about it, this is as vague and as specific as I can be, and now, I silently laugh through weird puffing sounds #wordpress #discoverme

P.p.s.  I guess this is also the first time I use hashtags in my post.  Wow, great day for firsts.  I’m going to read some of this blog now.

Holy crap I have nothing to offer

“The group project is to encourage the ability to work collaboratively and effectively in groups; to manage conflicts appropriately and ethically; and to pool knowledge and abilities to produce a superior report of research and analysis, including a critique of published research.”

Holy crap I have nothing to offer.

Take deep breathes, stay calm, you can do it.  I’m sitting here at my desk, for the first time in the whole holidays writing a pros and cons list of why and why not I should take a second major in psychology.  There are so many opinions running through my head that make me just want to break down and have a good cry.  I just really need to figure out what it is that I want to do this year.

Well I want to get good grades and transfer, but also discover and learn new things that may open my mind to new possibilities (this is important because I still don’t know what I want to transfer into).  I hope writing out some thoughts that don’t fit into my pros and cons list is productive, I’ll just say it is because otherwise I will surely have an anxiety attack.

I’m just confused.  And I can’t even categorise it into what I’m confused about, that’s how confused I am.  Am I confused about myself?  My passions?  My abilities?  What I like?  Sometimes people say, you can do anything.  But then on the other hand, people will say to me, you’re doing arts, you can’t do science, good luck with statistics next semester, and laugh.  The thing is, can I do different things?  People say you can, try new things all the time, at least give it go.  I’ve given it a go, psychology and statistics, I did it last semester.  But did I really give it a good try?  Because I didn’t study the entire year, why did I not study?  I tried to in the beginning, and then just conked out.  Does this mean university isn’t for me?  I used to think I was smart, at least pretty smart and not an idiot, but now I’m beginning to think that I’m actually stupid.  I mean, even if I was a bit smart before in high school, I feel like I’ve completely lost any sort of academic intelligence.  Do I just need to ‘retrain’ myself?  Or am I just stuck being stupid.  But I don’t believe that anyone is ever stuck.  When people ask me for advice I always know what to do (well generally).  But sometimes I wonder, do they want to know what I would do.  I give advice, in a way where it’s kind of the epitome of ‘goodness,’ and I’ll usually add in what I would do personally in that situation.  Giving advice is hard because the person who actually needs it is the only one who can really know what is best for them.  But when I give advice to myself I always back hand the ‘good’ advice with something less encourage-able, a more dire outlook on life.

So maybe I should try and give advice to myself as I would give to others in my situation.  So me as my outer self is giving me as my inner self advice: Should I study psychology?  It’s really hard, it has statistics, and I’ve always almost prided myself to be a non-maths and non-science person even though I used to love science when I was little.  Science has always interested me, but I was never much good at it, I’d always prefer studying for music or doing practicals in textiles, drawing, or even learning languages or thinking deeply about concepts in english.  I guess now I see that those are the things I love, but I’m not doing any of those things anymore which to be true to myself, is really quite sad.  The most I do is sing in the shower, play the piano when no ones home, and the last time I did anything to do with textiles was alter my birthday dress (which I had great fun doing) and cutting tops into crop tops.  Though I think languages weren’t really my forte since I didn’t pick it up as an elective, even though I was acing French like a boss, still can’t hold on to a French accent though, or any, maybe with practice.  This will also seem like a petty reason, which it is, it’s that continuing with psychology will mean I have to deal with a clashing lecture.  I’ll probably have to listen to the stats lecture online, which I’m not sure, it could be detrimental to my learning.  For PSYC2011 we have an in-tutorial quiz every few weeks, I’m scared.  Reading the course outline makes me scared.  There’s a group assignment and I’m so scared I’ll let my class mates down, I really sucked last year, and I’m scared even if I try really hard I won’t be able to it.  I wonder if I try to pretend to be positive I will end up being positive, and succeeding.  Or on the other hand I will fail miserably and probably fall into some sort of deep depression.  Writing this is making me so sad.  Should I try and give myself advice now?  Get ready for some pump up talk (this is going to get weird I can feel it already).

Dear self, I know you’re having troubles right now, believing in yourself, but you can do it if you put your mind to it.  You can achieve anything.  You’ve got your entire life and you’re only nineteen, you can’t give up now because what will happen for the rest of your life?  You can’t be complacent.  Nothing is easy.  And everything that is easy gets harder, but that’s what makes it worth while, makes life worth living.  Pursue your short term goals and they’ll evolve into long term goals, into your career, into your passion, and into your life. Do what makes you happy.  If you don’t know what makes you happy, then try new things, how about you try actually trying this year.  Don’t give up.  If you’ve fallen behind, don’t go anywhere, don’t do anything, study, get back on track, and maybe reward yourself.  It doesn’t matter if your timetable is difficult right now, you have to do what you have to do.  I think you should do psychology and listen to stats online, it’ll give you time to process what they’re saying, pause and listen, take notes, especially if it’s hard.  You just have to make sure you listen every week.  Set some classes on Tuesday and go to uni, and listen to the lecture afterwards.  Doesn’t matter if you’re tired, you’re always tired because you’re a bit of a major lazy shit.  It’s time to get up early and just go.  You used to get up at 7:15am for high school, what makes university different?  Get up, get ready, go to uni, or take your time and have a proper breakfast, meet up with people before you head off, if you’re at uni early go to the library and revise your readings, don’t be late to class.  It doesn’t matter if you only have class for a tiny bit in the morning on Tuesdays and it’s your only class and you have to go because it’s a tutorial, you will study afterwards.  It doesn’t matter that you’ll have one less day to work, and one less day to make money for an overseas trip because uni is more important, it’s how you’ll make money in the future, and real career professional money, not retail base rate teenager pay.  If you study hard and properly you won’t let your class mates down.  Just try your best, that’s all you can do.  Uni is a full time job, five days a week, you’ll have a work shift now and then but don’t let that make you tired and think, no studying for today.  Study everyday, everyday of your fucking life.  Do what needs to be done, do more than needs to be done.  Study at least six hours a day.  You need to study otherwise you’ll fail like last year.  You are smart.  And you can do it.  If you work hard you can achieve anything.  You aren’t born smart, you’re made smart, you can make yourself smart.  (Okay that just sounded a bit derp but whatever).  YOU CAN DO IT.

Sigh.  I feel slightly better and bit lame.  Anyway, I think I’ll do what I told myself to do, because I know that’s what’s best.  Let me learn my lesson by saying that I could’ve been having the time of my life studying Fashion at UTS right now, but because I was stupid, and even though I knew what I should’ve done, I made the wrong decision and now I’m here doing Arts.  Arts is cool, just not for me.  Even though UTS is ugly and stupid, it was better and I should’ve put that as my first choice.  I am an idiot for putting Arts first when the ATAR was so fucking low.  But at least I’m trying to do something, to change it, to be better.  Back to thinking, I will fix my timetable, apply for jobs, find someone to swap shifts with me, and organise my shelves, make a list of stationary to buy, and hopefully buy that tomorrow.

Also I’m having major hair issues and food craving issues I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  Stay strong, me.

Ty,
Just Another Woo Girl

Last year wasn’t all that average

So I know I said last year was pretty…average.  But really it wasn’t because oh my god I had the best concert year ever!!!  You know how I realised this?  I heard Lady Gaga was having her tour in August but didn’t actually think I would go (even though I stan for her) because no one I know loves her as much as me!  And the only tour I am seriously needing to go to is One Direction, because this album is amazing.  Anyway, so my friend is going and I wish I was going too!!  But in reality, I’m saving for something bigger this year, to travel!  And this is hard because I’m really crap at saving money due to makeup, clothes, shoes, going out, and food.  So I wouldn’t really be able (well I could) buy a ticket anyway…  But when I think of last year, the concerts that I went to, those are experiences in themselves!  Ones that are new and amazing!!!  As a fangirl, it’s utterly and amazingly euphoric being in the same air space as the ones you love.  I had thought, there was nothing new I experienced last year.  Uni was like going through high school again except the subjects I was doing were shit and I hated them.  But every concert and festival I went to, was a whole new thing in a whole new category of ‘feels’.  Each musician and artist is an experience in themselves, so even though it’s categorised in ‘music’ and ‘concerts’ each is unique and incredible!  And this was the year I went to my first concert ever as well!!

My 2013 music experiences!!!  (New to me and exciting and the best ever!!!)
1. Ed Sheeran
2. Future Music Festival
3. One Direction
4. Justin Bieber
5. Taylor Swift
6. The 1975 (Okay, this was 2014 but it counts because it’s the holidays of 2013, prior uni)

ALL SO AMAZING!!!!  I’m pretty sure I already had a whole feels post about Ed Sheeran (on my old blogspot), it was my first ever concert!!!  I danced the whole night at my seat, he was epic and pitch perfect and original and all he needed was him, his guitar and his loop pedal.  Future was so fun, my first and only festival, where I got to relive live my favourite Avicii song “I Could Be The One” from my 18th birthday when Nicky Romero played it for the first time to my ears.  Not to mention One Direction, after missing out on the Up All Night tour (oh how I was fucking devastated!!!) it was amazing and I filmed the whole thing, but all you can hear is mostly me singing horribly out of tune…  Justin is perfect, the concert was amazing, his dance moves, his voice, his sexuality, just everywhere…!!!  And T-Swifty was a spur of the moment thing, but oh my god was it worth it and epic.  It was the first open air concert I’d been too and it was just a whole other vibe, other worldly, the pyro, the fireworks, just the immense stage show of it all was breathe-taking, and Taylor is just perfection, her voice, I cried when she sand “All Too Well” it was to die for.  And yes, The 1975, my love blossomed for them when I saw a post about them on Tumblr relating to Harry Styles, so cute!  They were great, and I have to say, even better live than on record!!!  Matty is full of energy and his dancing and head shaking is contagious!  It was my first gig type of concert, really small and intimate, he was right there in front of us and I know he could see everyone.

Anyway, yeah so 2013 wasn’t such a mundane year after all!  And I only mean this in terms of me in my life and moving forward and doing something with purpose.  Concerts are purposeful.  They heal the soul.

Lots of love,
Just Another Woo Girl

A public fuck you

Fuck you.  You little-immature-tiny-skanky-whorebag slut, you lazy, hot-headed IDIOT.  Hello, and fuck you.

No thank you!
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s. Just some public thoughts I’d like to share with the world.  I’d also like to scream right now, but seems a bit inappropriate.  Suck me off at the next station.

P.p.s. I’M MAD.

P.p.p.s.  MAD AS FUCK SO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE HOE!!!!!!

I made dis

Just sayin’.

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Gluten free chocolate brownies

You can’t really go wrong with brownies. I mean, if the batter tastes good, it’ll taste good. I tried baking cookies today, and let’s just say, the batter was much more tasty than the end product (I think I burnt it).

These were delicious. Comment if you want the link to the recipe! I had to tweak it because it wasn’t sweet enough for me. I love sweet stuff.

Bye,
Just Another Woo Girl

The question always on my mind

When will I be fucking skinny.

????????????

That’s all I wanted to share and thought it’d be most appropriate here. Such…eugh. Really shows that determination, hard work and concentration are important in life. Obviously I’m lacking otherwise I’d be fit as fuck by now!!! Sighpie101.

Time for some Doctor Who.

Cya,
Just Another Woo Girl

Scrolling through my Facebook timeline

I was scrolling through my facebook timeline, having a few laughs with myself…  I used to post a status everyday, more than one and mostly about Glee, Nick Jonas, food or being bored.  The comments I used to reply sound so dry when I read back on them, even though at the time I was so happy with everything in general, must’ve been my cool, laid back, “idgaf” facebook persona.

But mostly, aside from cheesy lines and some really weird sexual posts, I’m sad that 19 year old me hasn’t achieved anything that 14 year old me once dreamed of.  I posted about wanting to go to Juilliard and going on a gap year to Italy.  All those things of which didn’t  even cross my mind in year twelve.  I mean it occurred to me I could go on a gap year only because some friends were going on a gap year of their own, but to me, it wasn’t a real option.  And even though this year I want to travel, it seems like Italy hasn’t even crossed my mind as an actual possibility.  Before I would’ve gone there, just to Italy, stayed and lived there for a few months and just probably gone back home to Sydney, with a possible spontaneous road trip to the next country.  But now, I feel like I wouldn’t even travel to Italy by itself, I would have to travel all or at least one side of Europe in one go, and that’s only due to money.  But I feel as though, why should money be the reason that I don’t travel to a single place, at this moment in my life?  Is it because I’ve grown up and realised money is essential to actually doing things, for life?  Or is it because I’ve lost the thrill and the dream of travelling for the pure pleasure and new experiences?  Well, I feel that maybe now that I’m five years the wiser (what a long time that is…) I’ve realised that there are restrictions to what I can do.  But then I tell myself, and people say, the only things restricting you are the restrictions you place on yourself.  So if I think of it that way, I can do anything that I want.  In respects to travelling, I guess it’s just a balance between the need for money and the seeking of thrills and experiences.

I just keep thinking of the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.  Blake Lively went to Italy, right?  Some European country I think it was anyway.  And for a few months?  Seems amazing.

But onto Juilliard.  Obviously I would never go there, I couldn’t.  I mean, even if I tried for the rest of my life, I doubt I’d make it in.  It doesn’t really appeal to me anymore in that sense.  But is that because subconsciously I’ve set it aside because I think it’s far too out of my league anyway?  Or is it because that career and the passion for singing isn’t with me anymore?  I love singing, is it a passion?  I don’t think I’m good enough to make anything of it anyway, yet I often think about living the life of a popstar, what kind of tolls it would have on me as a person, travelling non-stop for almost a year touring, not seeing friends and family.  Right now I’m studying Arts, and let’s not turn this into another existential crisis about my university course, but obviously it’s not something I want to do or pursue the rest of my life.  And I say pursue, because every career is an endless pursuit, you can always better yourself, learn more, and I feel as though anything or any career that has a distinct ending point is pointless.  I mean, I define a career as a job that is your passion, and a career is something where you always have more to achieve.  But don’t think of it in a negative light where you’ll never finish, because if it’s your passion you never even want it to finish.  You don’t look at is as an infinite number of stages where you’ll never be the best, but you should look at your career as things you have achieved already to get to where you are, and where you are is your best, it’s the best you can be at the point in time, and rather it should excite you that you haven’t reached the end.  Because once you’ve reached the end, you’ve reached the end of your passion, and if it’s your passion, probably the end to any meaning to your life (in that respect, of course you should also have actual people relationships…derp).

Anyway, so what I mean is that, my life right now, it seems all a bit purposeless.  High school is fine, everyone has a purpose, it’s to discover who you are, what you love, what you want to be, and all that.  But university, or whatever it is that you decide to pursue after your usual obligatory years in high school, is supposed to be all the more meaningful, the start of a new era in your life where you can discover yourself surrounded by your passions and the people you actually care about, the time where you really start to grow and learn.  To be honest, I feel like the same person.  Actually, sorry, no I don’t, that just sounded more dramatic.  I mean, I feel different than before, but yet I still feel the same.  Let me think about how so…  I’m not all too sure.  For one, like I said before, I don’t know what my passions are.  But are passions just hobbies that you’ve grown to love and are dedicated to?  Is music my passion?  Is singing my passion?  Is fashion my passion?  (Lol).  Is makeup my passion?  Those are the only things I really like to do for the sake of only that it’s fun and I think I’m pretty awesome.  But I’m can’t sing that high, or that uniquely.  I don’t follow avidly any fashion blogs at all, and I’m not up to date with high end fashion.  And I don’t see how makeup can take me on a never-ending life journey…  Well actually it could, I always imagined it to be like being a celebrity makeup artist, travelling the world with them.  But what would I do when I don’t want to travel around constantly anymore?  Will I become a glorified sales assistant?  Will I start my own makeup school?  Makeup brand?  And also I’ll have to defer or be a college drop out to become a makeup artist.  But this is all silly.  I shouldn’t limit myself.  Why do I have all these doubts.  I should try to be a free thinker.  I will become a free thinker and do what it is I want to do.

Yeah I was going to say something else but I’ve forgotten.  Now that I’ve not even been working I have realised what the lives of the unemployed is truly like.  I mean, I thought I’d experienced it before, but now, I really have.  Last time, I was just going out, having fun.  But this last week, I’ve literally been sitting on my ass all day.  Not even that, lying in bed watching random shit on the internet and scrolling endlessly through newsfeeds.  I’ve feel as though I’ve gotten lazier and lazier now that I have no structure to my life.  And now I can understand the vicious cycle of unemployment and the real will that they all lack to find a job.  I have a resume, yet I haven’t applied anywhere properly yet.  I am the worst.  But I can be better.  I’m still deciding whether I want to work retail, hospitality, or the truly mundane, call centre things.  To be honest, I’d work any if it was high paying (except maybe hospitality, that might be do much physical endurance for me, although it probably has weight loss benefits).  I think I’d most prefer to work high end retail, it’s a higher pay, better work environments, though there’s also much more client care and commitment, which I don’t mind, and probably enjoy.  Call centres and such will probably be much too boring for me, not enough human contact, plus, weird hours.

Oh yes, what I was going to say is that maybe I want to be a psychiatrist, which is linked to my current studies in psychology.  I thought maybe it would be good because you have ongoing relationships with your patients, you get to know them, so you can understand them and truly help them.  You’re helping people in a meaningful way.  But I’m not sure whether I want to because I just finished watched the first season of My Mad Fat Diary.  It’s really good by the way, a British series.  I found out about it on tumblr, and I was like what the hell, I so want to watch this.  It’s about this fat girl who basically ends up with the hottest guy in school, so basically, I can relate and can fantasise about this minute possibility.  Also the guy, Finn, is gorgeous and so cute.  Classic bad boy, with a good heart and is really sweet and actually really kind.  Yeah, so when I saw all these GIFs of it, I was like, huh, these names sound so familiar, and the characters as well.  It looks like this book I bought and read ages ago.  AND IT WAS!!!  It’s the adapted version of My Mad Fat Teenage Diary which I read in maybe year seven.  I loved that book.  I can’t tell if it was actually great or just a good teen drama.  I think it was the latter.  But seriously, watch the whole first season, it’s only six episodes.  At first I was a bit like, this is alright…  But you get to know the characters, it’s a bit like Misfits in the cinematography.  Finn is sexy as fuck.  I cried so much in the last few episodes, that’s how good it is.  Love it.

Anyway, I’m getting two of my wisdom teeth out tomorrow.  I haven’t been dreading it much.  But that’s probably because I’m too stupid to actually imagine and comprehend the read pain I will be in tomorrow.  Stop it, me, I’d rather be half oblivious than wretchedly scared.  Okay fuck, I think I’m getting that TSI or whatever hand thing from typing too much, I really hope I don’t get arthritis in my fingers when I’m older.

I’m going to watch the Lilo and Stitch films now.

G2g,
Just Another Woo Girl

The grounds of Alexandria

I posted an ugly photo of my fruit salad dinner…here is something more worthy of your viewing! Introducing, The Grounds of Alexandria!! The vibe is pretty amazing, and the outdoor patio seating is homely, well lit yet also shady! I have to say although I enjoyed my breakfast meal, I would’ve preferred lunch but I was too early. And the desserts and pastries where probably my favourite even though I was too full to eat it all.

20140207-220617.jpgBerry Bircher muesli with a side of Mediterranean lamb sausages and a banana smoothie

I did not finish this… The muesli is ginormous!! But the rhubarb in it was probably the highlight, so smooth in texture and I love the stringy-ness. The sauasage a were good to balance out the sweetness of the muesli and my smoothie, though I definitely have a sweet tooth.

20140207-220630.jpgPassion fruit cheesecake and lemon meringue tart

I was too full to eat but I shared half and half with my friend. Lemon meringue was a bit too sour for my taste but the passion fruit cheesecake was delicious. I heart cheesecake.

Though wellco I think is still my number one cafe so far, best frappe in town.

Bye!
Just Another Woo Girl