Mould1001

So yes.  My room is currently the most messy it has ever been, to my recollection.  Now, it’ not even just messy, it’s actually disgusting.  I don’t want to go into all the details because it will just gross you out and make you all think I am really disgusting and messy…  So anyway, as you would’ve known, the past few weeks (maybe not the most recent few) have been hectic with assignments.  Now, it’s not even that I pull all-nighters consecutively before the due date, which would probably be more beneficial, but a single all-nighter before the day I hand it in, whether it’s (not ever) on time or days/weeks after.  So yes, I had the phase with the tim tams.  Recently though, I haven’t been doing that.  I think I may be put off on that for at least a few months.
I’d been drinking a lot of tea in an attempt to boost energy and caffeine levels to no avail.  And so, seeing as these past few weeks I’ve just given up, I had just left these mugs of half drunken tea in my room.  Fermenting, as you will.  To be honest I think they’ve been in my room for maybe two weeks.  And my room is strewn with my clothes because every morning I don’t know what to wear.  I’ve worn this top this week already and I don’t want to look like a dirty hoe who wears the same clothes everyday with obviously no time to wash them.
So anyway, they’ve just been sitting there.  And for some reason just now I decided to finally take them downstairs to the kitchen.  But before doing that I had a tiny peak inside…  EWWWWWWWW MOULD!!!!!!!!  EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh my god it was excruciatingly cringeworthy!  Oh how I cringed!  I saw it and quickly put the lid back on.  As I’m writing this I am cringing, eughhHH!!!!!!  There were like black green circles of mould sitting on the top, and I think the tea had turned into some acidic translucent colour.  Most likely due to the soy milk in it.  Oh so gross.  At first when I looked in I thought it might’ve been the tea bag, but it was peaking out from two ends of the cup, and that was when I realised it was mould and shut it!
I’m not sure, but this might be the most disgusting experience of mould I have ever experienced!  Equalling this other time…
The other time was in probably year eight I think, when I was thirteen.  My mum used to pack me sandwiches for lunch and sometimes I wouldn’t eat them because instead I’d buy something from the canteen.  Usually, one of my friends would be hungry and they’d end up eating my sandwich.  I think on this particular day, I forgot about it and I’d already arrived home from school, the sandwich still in my lunch box.  Of course I couldn’t leave it there, otherwise my mum would’ve gotten me in trouble for not eating and also might’ve made me eat it then and there.  So I snuck it out of my back and stashed it in this massive plastic storage container I had with all these old books and girly files that you’d write in.  And then, I guess I forgot about it.
Sometime later, I don’t really know how long, I opened this container for some reason and holy mother of god, how it stank of death.  Oh man, it smelt so bad, it was sour and strong, like an actual garbage dump.  I opened up the paper bag, and there was the sandwich.  Soooooooo grossssssssssssss.  All mouldy.  Not sure which is more gross, the mould growing on the sandwich or the mould floating on the tea.  Fuck.
Mould is like the one thing that is actively revolting.  It’s not even the type of gross thing that is so gross but you just can’t help looking at it.  It’s the gross thing that is just like eugh, get out of my face and out of my memory.  So bad.
Yeah so I took that downstairs and left it on the counter.  My mum cleaned it.  Lol.  If I was living alone I would’ve just thrown the cups and everything touching it into the garbage bin.  So damn disgusting.  Well, I don’t know what she did with it, maybe she threw it as well.  But I supposed I can’t ever drink from those cups again.  Fml.  Well not really fml, but just so gross.
My room is a mess.  I haven’t started writing the essay that is a substitute.  It was due Friday and now I want to hand it in on Monday before 6pm so I don’t accrue even more than two late marks.  I suck.  And I have work tomorrow…  I’m so bad at work.  I’m just so bad at what I’m supposed to do.  Oh fuck, I am going to fail all my exams.  I can feel it.  I told my mum I want caffeine pills.  She said no…  I must pull an all-nighter on Sunday.  Otherwise I won’t be able to start studying for my exams.  Oh I am going to fail.  
Lol my parents are trying to talk to me right now.  My dad bought me some stuff for my dry skin, oh it’s so dry.  It’s literally like vaseline that he’s bought me.  Lol my dad’s telling my mum that his brother, I think, had a baby and for her to congratulate them or something.  She’s like go away, you’re disturbing everyone.  Because I’m supposed to be studying right now.  I think she’s like, I’m not going to, because they didn’t congratulate her?  I don’t know. Oh right, it’s because they had a baby boy.  And my parents didn’t have a boy.  My mum’s like, I’m the only one who didn’t have a boy, what can I do…  Lol.  I don’t even know.  Kind of depressing really.  Oh well.  Oh well.  Oh well…
Eugh I think they wanted me to be a boy.  Oh well.  Eugh, I think I would’ve made a particularly ugly boy.  I don’t know, it’s much easier for a girl to improve their looks with makeup but for boys, it’s au naturale.  Meh.  I wonder how I would be if were a boy.
Anyway, I should try and get back to my essay which I haven’t done.  I haven’t even read the articles yet.  Fuck.
Cya all,
Just Another Woo Girl

Don’t try and tell me you don’t want to see what it would be like to grow old with me

YOU’RE IN LOVE EVERY OTHER DAY COS YOU SMILE AT ME LIKE YOU’RE DYING TO SAY THAT YOUR HEARTBEAT STOPS WHEN I’M WALKING AWAY SO DON’T WALK AWAY – YOU’RE IN LOVE!
Imagine drinking wine incessantly and you’ll be kissing me on New Years Eve…
I’m listening to You’re In Love by Betty Who thanks to Tyler Oakley!  It’s been stuck in my head all day but for some reason I’ve got to listen to it on SoundCloud because shitty iTunes won’t let me put it on my phone without syncing…  It’s such an eighties sound and I love it.
Anyway, I literally can’t find any fucking articles on Google Scholar for my substitute sociology assignment and it’s really getting me frustrated and angry!  My breathing is stressed even while I’m typing this!  I’m using all the relevant key words but nothing good comes up!  I’ve got two articles which are alright…
I’m sitting in the law library and when I walked in, it was so quiet.  It was scary.  My friend even wanted to go into the Cone of Silence, the ‘quiet study area’.  I’ve read all the confessions and spotted things on facebook and people get dirties for turning a page too loudly, and breathing.  No way was I going in there.  My friend had described this such phenomenon to me before, and she said that during the day time the sun shone directly from above the cone (there’s like a massive sun roof) and it’s as if there’s a godly beam of light streaming down that should be accompanied by an “Ahhhhhhhh!”
Anyway, I should get back to studying again seeing as this is my substitute assignment.  I was at my sociology lecture today with Salvatore, he is the greatest lecturer ever because he is so kind!!  Everyone says that sociology is really easy, and I can’t really say because I haven’t done the work, but the real reason why it’s so easy is because of Salvatore!  He is so kind and sympathetic!  Basically the exam is multiple choice and really simple and straightforward, unlike the psych exam which is full of tricks.  And the lowest mark you can get is 40/100!  Even if you get zero you’ll still get 40% because he says, that even in an essay, if you actually attempt it properly but it’s crap you won’t get under 40.  Only if it’s not a real attempt will you get under!  So that makes me feel a whole lot better!  So great!  But kind of annoying some two guys behind me kept remarking how they were getting HDs and how Salvatore was nice.  Just shut up, or learn how to whisper.  You know you’re doing it right when no one else can hear you.  And obviously they were doing it wrong.
My friend was like, what are you doing? (while I was typing).  I said, “writing in my blog.”  She like, “Oh, that’s why you were typing so fast.”  I don’t think I could ever even imagine myself typing so fast when writing an essay.   Eugh, even thinking about writing an essay in an exam is giving me anxiety!  I literally know nothing about anything.  Life.
Oh my god Game of Thrones last night.  Fuck, it was crazy!  But so perfect.  The credits with the silence, godly.  We were discussing it, as you do, and basically I was like to my friends, don’t tell me, no spoilers!  And they continued to talk about it ‘without spoilers’ but they spoiled it.  I never want to talk about Game of Thrones with anyone it fucking ruins everything.  And then they try to take the spoiler back, but they can’t.  Eughhh!!!!  Erks me man.
Also, I was gonna watch Gatsby with my old tutoring class but now they’ve all seen it, and I don’t really want to watch it by myself (technically not true).  Life.  Oh life.
I can’t do uni.  Mehhhhhhhhhhhh.
Cya,
Just Another Woo Girl

The churning stomach…


What an emotional day.  It was the end of an era, the end of everything, The Office finale…  Oh how I cried.  But another post on that later.  I just checked my psychology essay results, and my internet has been running slow for the past few days, possibly because of all the windows and tabs I have open for online shopping.  Anyway, blackboard is always super slow on the turn it in thing, and whilst waiting for it to load, my stomach was actually churning.  I’m not sure that it’s ever churned before…  Unless churning is also what you call what your stomach does when you’re really hungry.  
In my tutorial on Wednesday my tutor was pretty…I’m pretty sure she hinted that we didn’t do very well, and that means, people failed.  I was sure I’d fail.  But then there’s also that tiny tiny part of me that hopes that maybe I am so naturally talented in some area and don’t even know it that I pass…  Well that feeling wasn’t that prominent this time.  And to kill the suspense, I failed.  Horribly.  Well I didn’t fail horribly, but I did fail.  My raw mark was a high pass, it makes me wish that I’d handed it in a week earlier and I would’ve at least passed the essay…but now I’ve failed.  I guess I can take this into account as, I’m not a complete failure, well my work isn’t.  But meh.
I think overall I was pretty prepared to see a whole lot of comments.  And I did.  To be honest I read the first three and couldn’t be bothered anymore.  It’s not even that they were making me feel sad, or bad about myself.  I just assume all the comments will be about similar mistakes, like I’ve stated facts that are actually wrong…  Not that I’m expecting any positive comments, but I doubt I’ll have any of those anyway.  An email went out a few days before saying that the tutors will mark hard?  Actually I don’t think it said hard, but they wouldn’t hold back from pointing out flaws, in order to improve.  And also that the essay isn’t a mark of your potential, or you as a person.  The fact that the coordinator or whoever stated that specifically was comforting to me and made me feel better.  But all in all, I think after writing all this, I feel sad.  I still haven’t started any of my two essays, and in an attempt to start later, I decided to check my results after remembering that they were released at noon.  
I don’t even know.  It makes me so sad that I have to do assignments.  Well essays.  I don’t even know…  I went to the bathroom and thought…  Arts is all academic, all about academic essays.  I was thinking of picking up film studies, but then I also realised that that too was about analysis and academic writing.  All the subjects are.  Then I thought about journalism, at UTS or at Usyd, and realised even though it’s not particularly academic, the writing is still supposed to be sophisticated…I don’t really know.  Then I thought about fashion, writing is important, but it’s not the major factor.  Should I be doing that?  I don’t know.  I imagined myself transferring to UTS…not sure how I feel about that.  The only thing I really love about Usyd is the campus, how it’s massive (even though walking is a con) it reminds me of going to uni in America or something.  UTS is literally one ugly and tall building, with ‘campuses’ separated by commercial blocks…  I love Usyd.  Some people say to me, they don’t actually love Usyd, but then others say they love it.  I was sitting in a lecture thinking, I wish all I had to do was listen and take notes, not have to write essays, not have to do exams.  My exams are in less than three weeks and I haven’t even handed in my last two assessments.  Life.
Not to mention tomorrow I have my second day of work.  I didn’t actually tell you how my first day was.  It was last Sunday and I worked five hours…  I work at my old tutoring place.  I don’t really know what I expected, I kind of thought I’d be teaching primary school students.  But tomorrow I have to assist a year twelve class, I don’t even know what to do.  To be honest, I mean I’ve always known and thought this, but I’m not that good at english…  Not good enough to teach other students.  And these students are only a year younger than me, in the position I was in not only a few months ago, and now I’m (sort of) entrusted with their future.  I’m supposed to mark essays and stuff.  I remember having tutors help me with mine, they gave me examples, what to put in my essay, things I need to expand on and points.  My tutor even gave me and my friend essays to mark one time, I literally had no suggestions and have no idea.  It’s because I’m not at all confident or opinionated about these things, I have no idea what the author is trying to say, or what they are saying.  So how can I possibly help others…  Not to mention again that the class splits into two, one on Hamlet and one on Yeats.  I don’t even know what the fuck Yeats is.  I think I have to research or read up on it before tomorrow.  And read up on techniques that I’ve forgotten…  One of the girls who I’m assisting said that I have to get used to teaching stuff I don’t know at this tutoring place.  This makes me sad.  I suck seriously.  I’m considering resigning because I literally don’t think I have what it takes to teach or even assist or even mark HSC essays…  I don’t know how I’m going to survive the two hours tomorrow, bullshitting my way through, pretending to be smart.  
I was watching BeautyCrush on youtube again today, of her behind the scenes of fashion shoots (link here).  It made me realise that I’ve got to learn to get used to this feeling because all my life it will be like this.  Sammi was helping with styling at the shoot with people I assume she’s never met.  Caught a plane alone to Ibiza to meet with people she’s never met.  Had to have lunch and make small talk with them.  Feeling like a newbie, which is what I feel like at work, and sometimes at uni.  I say sometimes at uni because I don’t feel like that all the time, but I am still a fresher and literally think it in my mind.  Yeah I don’t really know where I was going with this or if I’ve already made my point but whatever…
Oh watching the video also made me want to be a model (lol).  It just looks so fun!  Not that I’d ever be one.  It reminds me of being an actor or something because you have to audition all the time and you’ll get rejected and things like that…
Sigh, I’ve also run out the Tim Tams my mum bought…  So no more delicious Tim Tams with tea…  I don’t know if I told you but I finally found Yorkshire tea!  It was in Coles I think.  I was getting more tea after I’d run out of English Breakfast and saw it just sitting there!  Finally when I wasn’t looking for it, it appears!!  And then I wikipedia-ed it in store to see if it was the actual one, and it was!  So yorkshire tea is the brand, and it makes black tea, so there is no other Yorkshire tea.  That’s just what I’ve gathered…  Here’s the attractive picture I took.
Image
I actually think this picture is attractive, not sarcasm.  Well actually this is far too big, I can really see it all in it’s not so glorious form.  I think shopping would make me feel a lot better…  But there’s no time for that.  I really can’t fucking be bothered.  I can’t go now since all the stores will close/have closed.  I can’t go tomorrow since there’s not enough time before work.  I have to start my assignment tonight and also read up on Hamlet, Yeats and techniques.  That’s for tonight and tomorrow morning.  Then I have to work until two, and then probably walk around my local stores and see nothing worthy compared to the top shop pants I want.  Maybe I should just trek it out there tomorrow on a fucking Sunday to buy them if the weather is good…  Shops close early on Sunday as well…  I don’t know.  It’s really pissing me off that I can’t make the picture smaller.  It’s either me or wordpress, but either way it’s pissing me off.  Minus one to wordpress, fuck.  I woke up at like twelve today and realised it was sunny outside, opposed to the rainy weather report.  Annoyed…!!!!  I should’ve gone to the library but I thought it’d be raining and I don’t like going outside when the weather is that miserable.  Lugging around an umbrella is the worst.  I really need to buy a new umbrella, some sort of compact one, but not enough money to spare for that.  My mum is so annoying, I don’t ask her for money for things I want, like clothes and stuff, nor do I go shopping with her because every time I regret it.  Anyway, so one time she was like, just tell me what you want and I’ll give you money, and you concentrate on studying.  I think this was in reference to me not having a job before and not having any money because literally no one would hire unexperienced me.  I really wanted to work in Sportsgirl or General Pants or even Glue.  I think one person kept saying to me, General Pants is so exclusive, and I was thinking, I fucking know, but there’s no harm in still applying…!!  Yeah well my mum hasn’t really done anything to support what she’s said.  Plus she only says things like that when other people are around.  Meh.
Cya bitchez,
Just Another Woo Girl

Pointless

So hello, I am so not in the mood for life.  I collected my philosophy essay today after my tutorial.  My tutor told our class that no one failed, so yay, I was happy to hear that.  Other than that, I got my essay back, and to be honest, I saw the mark and thought, meh.  I didn’t want to read the comments because I was with a friend, and was hungry and rather not be bummed out from the comments.  I mean, I scraped a pass with my ten mark loss, so the comments wouldn’t be praising.  I was already in the pass zone without the penalty, so you can probably guess how low I scored…
I love my tutor though, he’s so cool.  Such an awesome tutor.  If I compare him to my other two tutors, he is better infinitely…  I’m seriously rethinking taking philosophy next semester, I’m obviously shit.  In fact, I scored ‘poor’ on referencing and bibliography.  That’s not all that crucial to the content, but he also commented that I said that other academics said something that they actually didn’t…  Fml.  That’s pretty important.  And basically I suck at everything.  Although, he ended the comments with, good work!  I’m not sure how to take that.  I wonder what he says on HD essays, “Incredibly amazing young Einstein!”  Fml.  If he’s saying good work to make me feel better, then, I don’t know.  If he says it but actually means it in a mediocre way that is representative of my work, meaning he thinks my shit is actually good, then that’s sad for me.  I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore.
Also the comments he left where quite vague, and I guess I’m not good at all with criticism even though I know my essay sucks.  I don’t even have the will or want to do my two late essays now.  This is the worst time of my life.  It was tough enough for me to do the philosophy and psychology essays, let alone anthropology and sociology essays that were due on the same day.  In fact, it will be a ten mark penalty by tomorrow.  If these were the first essays to do, I’d probably have a more optimistic outlook and pull an all nighter.
The thing is, I just can’t be fucked, but then I don’t want to fail.  If I attempt the essay I could scrape by with a pass.  But now, I don’t even know if I will since it’ll be so late.  I don’t want to live if living is like this.  What can I do?  I don’t mean this as, what can I do – do my essay.  I mean, what can I do – this course is not for me.  Or maybe these subjects are not for me.  
Will I go out this week?  I kind of just feel like chilling, and if it’s at night, chilling at a bar with live music and going home at like eleven or twelve…  Nothing really calls to me.  The last time I went clubbing was to Pontoon (an asian club) and basically, meh, that encapsulates the whole night.  I’m not sure whether it’s the club (highly likely and influential since, blurgh) or just that it’s not as fun as it was when I went out the first time.  Also, every time I go out, I would only go if I know how I’m getting home.  And now, even when people who live near me go out, they go home a different way with other people so it’s kind of a hopeless and stupid situation.  
Actually it’s weird.  I feel like everyone wants to go out clubbing but all I want to do is go shopping and chill.  It’s like a complete turn around from last holidays…  Life.  But I don’t have any money.  I had a lot of money last holidays.  Meh.  I wonder why I feel so down, is it because I’m going to get my period soon?  Is it because I’m failing uni?  Is it because I have no money which is stopping me from fulfilling my material wishes?  To be honest, if I had a lot, I mean even more than what I had last holidays, I would be able to go out and just get a cab home, but I can’t.
So what I learnt today in psych is to live in the present.  It’s kind of a generic motto.  But the real question is how do you live in the present?  What I’m doing now, writing in my blog, doesn’t seem that fulfilling or amazing, it’s not propelling myself into some sort of awesome future.  
Actually I read this really creepy and distressing story on reddit, I’ll link it here.  It could also be a reason why my mood is not lifted… (Click to read the scary story).  It really is an intense story, gets you right in the thick of it all…
And fuck, I forgot to do my weekly psychology quiz.  Fuck my life.  I’d set an alarm for Sunday afternoons, and I always do it, but I saw the alarm, and forgot about it…
Arts…  What a waste.  Unless you are amazing at one field, it’s so pointless.  My life is pointless…  My studies are pointless…  I don’t think I have clinical depression but I read somewhere people who sleep a lot could be depressed…  
And as I sit here typing feeling sorry for myself, I could start on my sociology essay.  I’m really going to fail.  I really, truly, am.  I will.  I can’t even hold an optimistic view…  My hair gets so greasy to quickly now.  I’m pretty sure I washed it yesterday and now it feels a bit oily.  Maybe it’s because I sprayed it with hairspray…  Putting on some Jedward to make me feel better.
Oh I love listening to Lana Del Rey when I’m walking or going places, it makes me feel like I’m in a movie or something, soundtrack to my life!  Fun.
Life,
Just Another Woo Girl

Pity party raise the roof

So not to sound completely self-pitying and probably not at all self-loathing, but I seriously suck turd.  Wow, saying the word turd in my head made me feel a lot better.  And saying word and turd together makes me feel even more better because they rhyme!  Maybe I should take a break and watch some Spongebob.  I’ve never been a religious Spongebob fan, I mean, I probably only watched it sometimes when it was on Saturday Disney.  It’s weird how Saturday Disney was the Australian branch of Disney.  I seriously love Disney and still would have loved to be a Disney kid. In fact yesterday, instead of doing my essay (…), I was watching clips of the Mickey Mouse Club.  Seriously though, Justin was the biggest cutie ever showing us around his hometown Memphis!  And Britney, holy moly was she so cute and adorable!  So pretty too!!  After she showed us how to eat crawfish I had a dream about eating them, looks so yum!  And one of the older, unsuccessful Mouseketeers was saying how Britney was hot at eleven years old.  She actually was…  They were all so talented!
Anyway, so I failed.  Well I predict I will fail.  I missed the second deadline, so now I’m on negative twenty marks.  This is detrimental.  It weighs on my soul.  After the HSC had finished, I literally felt to light and free, not a care in the world.  So much more happy, like I had been when I was like twelve, so less cynical.  I even wrote a blog post about it!  I mean, I thought I might have changed for the sadder, but I had regained power!  Anyway, now I feel like shit again.  Everything is so out of hand!  One thing led to another, and now everything I’ve had to hand in so far has been late.  When I think about it, my first referencing tutorial participation assignment was late as well!  I had to run to class, arrived half an hour late because fuck you Fisher Library staff.
So yes, I think I’m looking at getting around maybe thirty to forty percent for this psychology essay, including deducted marks.  And that’s if I’m lucky.  I mean, if I’m really unrealistic and ignorant, I would just say, I’ll get full marks, and end up with a distinction.  But get real, me, you will never get full marks.  That’s not even a harsh statement (lol), I’m pretty sure full marks is a rarity.  I mean on actually important assessments.  Or maybe it is actually just me.  Anyway, my average has been seventy, so…  I’m looking at getting a pass, or fail.  Sigh pie.
I actually really want to buy some study drugs.  Not sure what they’re called yet, but that can easily be googled.  But then again, I have no income, so, yeah.  I can’t even buy drugs.  I’ve wondered recently whether my dad might condone my use of drugs if it were to help my studies.  But realistically, he wouldn’t.  He would say, you have to work hard.  And I must!  I wonder what extents it would take me to actually learn…  Meh.  Life is life.  Wait, don’t be complacent!  Well, I’m actually just thirsty.
I actually feel drunk.  I slept for five hours last night and still didn’t finish the essay, and it’s only a thousand words!!  Why, why?!?!  Yeah, I saw an ad on television that said if you’re awake for more than seventeen hours a day, basically, you’re drunk (lol).  So I’ve been trying to function and write an essay drunk.  I wonder how many mistakes there are in this blog post…  Should I not proof read it so you can count?  Nah, that just disrupts the flow.  Or maybe I will, as in I won’t proof read, I’ll decide late and let you know in the p.s.  Now I’m thinking I mightn’t even remember to put that in.  Oh fucking well.
I missed uni today, well skipped.  So I think-oh my fucking god, I’ve actually skipped all my tutes this week and didn’t even fucking finish the essay!!  THIS LIFE IS HOPELESS!!!  But I will say, I did miss the first one by accident…  Well, I’ll try to make it up tomorrow by going to all my lectures!  I want to go to this interfaculty pub crawl, I mean it sounds fun, but it’s such a hassle thinking of how I’m going to get home, so I don’t think I’ll go…  I’m so tired/drunk I’m just going to do what I don’t want to (insert sad face).  That was it.  That was what I didn’t want to do.
Oh life oh life oh life.  Am I Squidworth?  Is that even how you spell his name?  I can’t be bothered to even google it.  Google…  I just want to lie on top of a cloud and be done with the world.  I mean, I’d say uni, but then it kind of leaves my life pointless.  I mean, dragging my lardy body around all day, eating, not even delicious eating, just junk or healthy shit around the house.  Mehhhhhhhhhh.
I watched The Wanted’s new music video, it made me like the song more, especially the end where they’re singing the chorus with the…oh my god I don’t even remember what the thing that’s different from the chorus and verse is called!  I’m getting dumber every moment I’m alive!!  Or every moment I’m on the internet!!  Is venting making me less intellectual?!  Wow I seriously don’t remember.  Anyway, the boom boom part.  So I was thinking I’d write a ‘review’ of my fangirling of it, but then, yes, I realised I’m so not in that mood.  All the feels would be underscored if not overpowered by cynical, blurgh-ness.  Eugh.  Eugggghhhhhh.
Also, a note on Selena Gomez’s new music video, amazing cinematography.  The scenes were so incredibly beautiful and she herself was amazing and gorgeous.  What would’ve made the video more interesting and a thousand times better is if there was an actual story line, and maybe seeing the guys face…
I’m outta hurrrr,
Just Another Woo Girl
P.s.  I will proof read.  Also, I’m gonna take a break and try and cheer up with some SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!  Every time I laugh when I’m watching funny shows by myself I keep thinking of this thing I read which said: lonely people laugh a lot at things that aren’t that funny.  But I think it’s funny…but what if it isn’t that funny and I’m really just a loner?  (Lol).  So foonzay.
P.p.s.  Whilst proof reading I realised, it’s called the bridge!!!  THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR ME YET!!

Yesterday I was so mindfucked

Yesterday I was so mindfucked.  As always, I set my alarm super early the night before in hopes that I’ll wake up at seven o’clock and embark on a vigorous study journey before uni.  And as always, I snooze the alarm every half an hour, and if I’m diligent, every ten minutes.  Pretty much, I’m depriving myself of actual REM sleep by letting my alarm attempt to wake me up every half an hour instead of actually sleeping.  Plus, once the first alarm as woken me up I tend to be half awake whilst sleeping anyway, thinking of the latest time possible I can wake up.
So yesterday I start uni at one in the afternoon.  It’s a tutorial so I have to go.  I know I have to go.  And I want to go because I have to.  So I’m thinking to myself, I’ll wake up at eleven, give myself an hour to get ready and an hour to get to uni.  Pleased with myself, I drag my lazy ass body out of bed at around eleven twenty, there’s still major time, I think to myself.  Blah blah blah I miss the train, so I’m power walking, now, really actually power walking to the next train station.  I’ve made it in time, and even bought my weekly ticket in less than a minute!  I’m quite happy with myself.
I walk to uni, and I need to pee, I look at my watch, there’s still ten minutes till class starts, perfect.  I go to the toilet and am about to cross city road when I look at my watch.  It’s two pm.  It’s two pm?!?!?!  What the fuck?!  My tute starts at one!  I check my phone, it’s two pm!!  I feel like, what the fuck is happening?!  I come all the way to uni to go to this one boring ass tute and I’ve completely missed it?!?!  I was so sure I was going to be on time, from the moment I woke up!  I didn’t miss the train, in fact, I was faster than I have ever been from home to uni!  I want to ask someone what the time is, but I don’t; too weird.  So I call my friend, she doesn’t pick up.  How nice.  So I walk towards the building my tute is in, hoping that maybe my time is wrong and that everyone is waiting outside the classroom waiting to go in.  But no, as I’m walking, I see my friend whose also in my tute.  What the fuck?!  She’s leaving!!  Sigh pie.  I literally didn’t even know what happened.  I was so completely clueless, it was just like, why, why did this even happen.
She tells me that the tutor said this is the second tute that I’ve missed.  I don’t particularly remember the first one…  Anyway, what a waste.  I had and still have that psychology assignment to do, I still haven’t started writing it properly and it’s due tomorrow at four!  Well actually it was due last week at four, but I have to get it in tomorrow!  Oh my god!!  Tomorrow is today!!!!!  Far out.
Anyway, I was thinking about this the whole of yesterday, how on earth did I miss the tute?  Did I read my analogue clock wrong?  Was the clock downstairs wrong?  Were the clocks off all together.  Then I finally realised, it was because I am stupid.  I mis-calculated the times, and thought I had to be at uni by two instead of one.  Basically, I was still at home when the tutorial had already started.
Fml,
Just Another Woo Girl

Sleepy is cute but it’s not tired

I was just procrastinating and reading through some of my old blog posts from September last year, one specifically entitled, Dermatology win!  To be honest, I did win, but I didn’t even do anything about it.  My dad gave me a referral letter and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost it.  I mean, this was at least six months ago, and I’ve changed my room around, and everything’s different.  I really do wonder where I put that letter…  I bet I put it in my skinny bookshelf when I got it, like behind some books because I had a habit of slotting all the school, board of studies, and uni letters there.  It’s normal, I think, I mean, I don’t even get that many letters so where the hell would I put them?  I should probably start researching a way to keep my letters in check, seeing as I’m finally growing up!  I don’t know if I’ve let the bloggosphere know, but I applied for my own debit card a few months back.  It was pretty invigorating…  That’s not the right word, but you get the gist.  

Also, blogger, I’ve made other accounts on tumblr and wordpress:
justanotherwoogirlblog.tumblr.com
justanotherwoogirl.wordpress.com

I’m still not sure which out of the three I like best.  I love how wordpress has prettier themes, uses categories, and widgets, but then you have to pay for actual customisable themes.  And I’m so broke right now, I have no money in my bank.  But yay!  My old english tutor offered me a job as his assistant, so I’ll see how that goes, I’m excited!  I like tumblr because I think it’s more accessible, but then maybe my blog-style isn’t suited to it.  I like the themes on tumblr too, they’re alright.  Blogger is just ugly, or really boring and generic, also it doesn’t have categories, widgets, it’s probably harder to use, and a con for me is that it’s so simplistic.  But I love the stats page, it’s so easy.

Meh.  I have a psych essay to write for Wednesday.  It was due last Wednesday.  Fuck my life.  I feel so, meh all the time.  I’ll try to source references and articles tonight and read them tomorrow morning.  I’ll only have less that 24 hours including procrastination time to finish it.  And I absolutely have to finish it, I can’t lose another ten marks on top of my current negative ten.  It makes me sad.  I feel so stupid saying that, “I’m sad.”  Lol.  I can’t believe I’ve been “lol-ing” on my blog, I never wanted to.  I should probably just stop and try expressing myself better like I used to.  I want to say it again.

I’m tired.  I read a tumblr post that was like, “sleepy is such a cute word, why don’t we just always say sleepy instead of tired?!”  (I thought sleepy was so cute before this post, I’m not hipster).  And then someone’s like “I’m fucking sleepy of your shit.”  And that was so funny.  I laughed so tiredly.  The reason we don’t say sleepy instead of tired is because there’s actually a fucking difference.  I don’t mean to call the person who posted it a douche bag because sleepy is actually a cute word, but it is no replacement for tired.  Sleepy is associated with happiness, like you’re so sleepy from having an amazing but relentless day.  Tired is bad, it sucks, I associate it with being in the state I’m in now.  Tired from doing shit that wasn’t all that enjoyable, or specifically to my case, tired from doing jack shit.  Tired from sitting on the computer half-assedly attempting to do an essay.  Tired because I’m to pussy to try and figure out what I’m supposed to do because it’s just too hard.  Hard.  Hard.  Tired…

1:15am.  I thought to myself, try and think of it as due tomorrow morning.  But then I continued to write this post.  So it didn’t work.  After this post, I’ll close all these bullshit procrastination windows and try and fucking use PsychINFO.  Seriously, the fuck.  PsychINFO is so hard to use, if everyone is such a genius why don’t they make it a user-friendly interface, fucking hell.  I’m so tired.  PsychINFO, fuck you.  I love Google Scholar, it was so easy.  I took it for granted, fuck you PsychINFO, just, fuck you.  Fuck yourself.  

Life, 
Just Another Woo Girl

Why do we procrastinate?

Sometimes I procrastinate so far as to wonder to myself, why is it that i procrastinate?  And then I think, it’s because I’m doing something I’m not all that interested in.  But then I think of the times when I’ve procrastinated from things that when given the task, I’d initially thought, that’d be fun and easy!  And then I’d procrastinate anyway.


I kind of think it might have something to do with the actual pressure of having to achieve something, to some higher standard, than what I will actually achieve in reality.

Fucking philosophy, seriously.  Update on my essay progress: none.  Zero, zilch, words have been written.  Although, plus: I’ve finished doing the readings.  The last article I had to read was actually much simpler than the language used by fucking Kant.  Which, made it all the more interesting to read.  But I fear, yes fear, that because I simply read, and didn’t take notes, that I’ve forgotten everything.  I guess that’s another reason as to why I haven’t started writing the essay yet.

All this pressure.  Not only is my philosophy essay late, and I haven’t started it.  I still have another psychology essay due on Wednesday which, that too, I haven’t started!  And what’s infinitely worse, is that, because psych is from the science faculty, not the Arts faculty, each day the essay is late (apparently) is a 10% penalty!!  But I read on the handbook that it’s 10% per week…  I can’t even be sure.

I mean, this is what it says:

So I think it means what I think it means…  I don’t know if I can risk losing that much.  That would be a 3% loss to my overall mark which doesn’t seem that bad…

Anyway, back to the point.  The question I ask, why do we procrastinate?  But instead of asking, maybe it’s that we should just DO.  I mean, even though everyone comes to this conclusion, or when talking to friends, they’ll just tell you to FUCKING JUST DO IT, but it’s like, something inside of you is afraid of failure?  Meh, what the fuck.  This is just my way of procrastinating.

Fuck all, man,
Just Another Woo Girl

Hindsight, it’s a horrible thing

They say live life with no regrets.  Well, hindsight, does not let you do that, not at all.

Still on my formal dress woes, I’m imagining what it might’ve been like, if I’d listened to my mum.

She said she’d give me one day to look for a formal dress in store.  I thought, that’d be impossible.  And if I didn’t find it, I’d have to go again.  So I opted for the worse option, to online shop, and get a disgusting dress.

Anyway, it could have panned out like this.  Me, my mum, my dad, venture out on the train to the city, and I am doubtful of success on this lonesome day.  But in fact, as I look through Princess Polly, I find the lace dress with little sleeves!  Pretty!  I try it on, nice.  But is it formal enough?  I’ll have a look around.  After a day, I find nothing else that excites me as much as the lace dress.  I go back and buy it!  Yay!  Then I go to Wanted to check out heels, found!  The perfect sparkly silver heels with no ankle strap because I am so over my punk Steve Maddens.

Am I over being punk?

Side note, not sure whether to dye my hair back to purple, as it is currently faded into a fluorescent peach colour…  Or to go back to previous hair style, ark ash blonde ombre with highlights and lowlights.

Dilemma.

Anyway.  That’s how things could have been.  I could’ve gotten the perfect outfit in minimal costs as well!

Or, I could have not bought these black booties from Wanted in the holidays for the great price of $50, and would now have another $50 to spend and buy both the replacement formal dress AND my American Apparel shorts.

Also, if I hadn’t eaten lunch on Wednesday, and maybe not have bought the black Supre crop and a lacey top for Thailand, I also could’ve gotten new heels for the lace dress.  Pretty sparkly silver pumps with no ankle strap.

Oh the shits of hindsight.  It makes me miserable.  And weighed down like the moon being dragged in by gravity, the inability to move away, trapped, with no escape other than to defy the rules of the universe and blow up the entire place.

Life poos,
Just Another Woo Girl

Unhelpful parents increase stressing

So I’m going to Thailand next week.  Two days after I finish my last exam.  So when does that leave me time to prepare?  I’m not talking just packing clothes, and toiletries.  I mean, money, passports, IDs, credit cards, debit cards…  So many things to think about, on top of that, HSC stress!

I’m more stressed about Thailand than the lame HSC.  Which, by the way, my parents are completely useless for.

I tell my mum I may need a debit card or something so I don’t carry a whole wad of cash around, which would obviously make me, a target for tourist dog shit scammers.  Anyway, she says, okay, I’ll go to the bank today and ask.

She does.  She comes back and says, “No, they said it’s pointless and you’d have to pay monthly fees and you need a job.”

WRONG.  I just did the fucking research, and all I need is a tax file number and I’m ready to have a FREE debit card account.  Well you know what would be helpful right now?  Someone to HELP me get a fucking tax file number.  Which is the most strenuous process I have ever come across.  It says, I have to go through my school as that’s the easiest way…  No it isn’t!  Not when I’m done forever in a week!

Oh man, I just had a realisation.  Even if I apply for a TFN it’s too late because it takes around 10 working days to get back to me…  That’s it.  Tomorrow I’m applying for a debit card, and I’ll just have to pay the fee.  I think it’s like $10 all up or something, or either $4 or $6 a month.  Which is a lot seeing as I have no income…  I don’t know.

Also, I’m getting an iPhone 5, to replace my old ass nokia, and I want to use it now!  And for Thailand or whatnot.  And my dad wants to get a tax refund for going overseas, called the TRS.  This is because we’re going to America.  Anyway, I want to use it in Thailand, and beforehand.  So I did my research.  And he can get a refund when I go to Thailand, and he’ll send me off the airport anyway!  Well he should.  But he’s in a crappola mood at me for some reason, probably because I’m not concentrating on the HSC, but fuck that shit.  I’m stressed.

ERGH!!!

Yeah so basically they can do what I want, they just chose not to.  And that leaves me to deal with my unbearable problems.  My first world problems.  Poo.

Cya,
Just Another Woo Girl