Dreaming of bantering with The Wanted

I have some majorly serious procrastination issues, and I feel like even calling them simply ‘procrastination issues’ is an understatement and gives it some sort of power that it doesn’t actually have, I mean, the problem isn’t procrastination, the problem is me procrastinating, me!  Anyway, so basically to my body’s dismay, I slept the whole day.  The thing is, I can say that I didn’t want to, because I did, just to get away from doing my assignments.  So even though my mind is bright, my body is seriously dragging me down, oversleeping is a curse, now I know why Sleeping Beauty didn’t want to sleep anymore…  She must’ve felt like death when she woke up, aside from the fact that a sexy prince was the one to kiss her awake…

So on the plus side, I had another incredibly amazing and vivid dream, better than any yet, about The Wanted.  It makes me sad that I can’t remember the details of it, since I dreamt it maybe four hours ago, but I’ll try to recount the highlights, for my and maybe your pleasure.

I think we were in a shopping centre, me and all five of the boys.  Nathan’s voice was fine.  I think we were in Top Shop or something similar like Sportsgirl with a vintage section (I really want to go shopping and buy new pants because it’s getting cold).  And I’m not all that sure what happened after but I ended up sitting around this table in the shopping centre on some couches.  I was sitting next to Jay (my love) and all the boys were around, we were just talking and laughing about things I again don’t remember.  Then I think we started singing along to their new single Walks Like Rihanna and we were all miming and bopping and making faces at each other, and I think this was the best time of my dream life.  I can’t really specify as to what we were talking about so it’s a bit vague as to why it was fun, but I remember me and all the boys in the dream really laughing and just being crazy!  Ah fun times in my dream.  Me and Jay, oh if only there was such a thing!  Only in my vivid dreams.  Bantering, smiling, laughing…

And then I woke up.  And I tried to go back to sleep so the dream could continue, but as we all know, it never happens…  The Wanted left Sydney yesterday and my heart is breaking, I wish they were here for longer, or lived here, or I don’t even know, they flew off to Melbourne and are off to Japan tonight or tomorrow.  But I feel so lucky and privileged that they chose to perform their latest single live for the first time in Australia!  And in Sydney too, my home town!  Amazing, I love them so much!  When are they seriously going to tour Australia?!

One Direction also announced their 2014 Where We Are Tour!!  I’m so excited!!!  I want to go so badly!  Oh those boys, I love them all!  Anyway, got two essays to write which I haven’t started and they were due two days ago!  At least these are for anthropology and sociology, so it’s two marks a working day…

It hit me recently, that I actually am so angry and annoyed that my sister told me sociology was so incredibly interesting..!!  Fuck no!!!!  And then she’s like to me, “Whoops!  Got sociology and social psychology mixed up!”  Now I realise HOW FUCKING PISSED OFF I AM!!!  Sociology is the damned most boring subject of them all, I seriously do not give a fucking fuck about the content!  And I know social psychology is interesting, because I’m doing psychology!!  If I didn’t change to fucking most boring sociology, I could be doing fun and easy linguistics!!!!!!  FUCK MY LIFE!!!!  Linguistics doesn’t even have an exam at the end!!!  Fucking hell.  Never listening to my sister again.

Life,
Just Another Woo Girl

The Wanted is here and I am also here, but not with them

It’s kind of really depressing thinking about this…  I’d always thought, one day, it’s inevitable that I’ll finally get to meet all the boys of One Direction, and The Wanted again, forming unforgettable and everlasting memories and possibly friendships with them all.  This, mostly to comfort myself after they’ve visited Sydney and I didn’t meet them, or create the everlasting friendship that I suppose all fans wish to make, some sort of corny instant connection…  It makes me so sad that no one will follow them around with me in this attempt.  
But then it also seems to me that if I were a big enough, crazed enough fan, I’d just go by myself.  But I wouldn’t, and I don’t really want to.  But then I think, I do want to, I should go anyway.
What I’m really getting at is that The Wanted are in Sydney right now, they are here, in my city, roaming around, being amazing, and I’m always somewhere else.  I’m in the city, maybe only kilometres away but I’m not with them.  I can’t see them.  What is life when it is lived without the things you love?  I feel like there are all these infinite opportunities that I’m cowering away from, all these things I want to do but am just not proactive enough to fulfil.  I’m referring specifically and only to meeting these amazing musicians I am crazy fans of.  
I wanted to wait for Ed Sheeran outside the backstage door, but no one would come with me.  Seriously, fuck.  It’s literally what people do after concerts, musicals, and everything, to take photos of them, or with them, or simply wave at them getting into their cars to leave the venue.  Oh life, what a hand you’ve dealt me.  Is there any career I can pursue apart from fame to become apart of this world?
My sister is 27 now and she’s never met the Backstreet Boys.  I wonder if I’ll ever meet One Direction.  This makes my heart want to burst into tears and drown my room…  I suppose she doesn’t particularly want to anymore, but they are going on tour again!  I don’t think to Australia though…
Ah my psychology essay which I still haven’t finished.  You know it’s two weeks late now, that’s twenty marks…  And that’s my life.  I’ve still got to write about another 250 words, and I’m not in the zone, I don’t remember what I’m arguing or what I’m really talking about anymore. Life sucks.
I wish I was just travelling around as The Wanted’s or One Direction’s stage manager or something, I don’t even care, toilet cleaner, tour bus aerator, I don’t know.  
I wanted to go out to a friends birthday on Saturday but now I don’t think I can since I’ve actually been offered a job and start on Sunday at 9am…  I want to be fresh for my first day yet, I just want to have fun…  I think if my friend wants to go then I’ll go, and then leave a bit earlier if it’s not that great, and if it is, just suck it up the next day and have a red bull.  But if not, then on the bright side, I’ll be making some money for future fun times…  I’m working for four hours, so I’ll be making like forty I think…  I don’t even know.
It’s almost midnight, it’s almost Wednesday.  In a few more hours after that The Wanted, Jay my most loved, will be on Sunrise in Martin Place and I won’t be.  Most likely I’ll be in bed.  But the thing is, I could actually be there, physically.  I don’t start classes until 2pm which leaves me a massive amount of time.  I love them so much.  From the first time to the day I die, it will be them (and One Direction).  They can bicker, but I still love them both.  Love is real.  This love is real.
What am I even doing with my life.  I feel like I’m not doing anything worthwhile, my studies are merely an action I repeat.  I’m not even diligent in that.  Sigh pie.  So annoyed my tea isn’t hot anymore otherwise I’d drink it through a Tim Tam.
You know what, I don’t even have a gift for the boys so I kind of feel bad, well I feel inadequate.  I wish they were having a concert.  I love them so much.  I love their music, and their personalities, they are incredible.  Poor Nathan, he’s still suffering from his sickness and didn’t get to perform tonight, or for ages.  I hope he gets better.  All my love.
I’m tired now…
Sleepy,
Just Another Woo Girl

Pity party raise the roof

So not to sound completely self-pitying and probably not at all self-loathing, but I seriously suck turd.  Wow, saying the word turd in my head made me feel a lot better.  And saying word and turd together makes me feel even more better because they rhyme!  Maybe I should take a break and watch some Spongebob.  I’ve never been a religious Spongebob fan, I mean, I probably only watched it sometimes when it was on Saturday Disney.  It’s weird how Saturday Disney was the Australian branch of Disney.  I seriously love Disney and still would have loved to be a Disney kid. In fact yesterday, instead of doing my essay (…), I was watching clips of the Mickey Mouse Club.  Seriously though, Justin was the biggest cutie ever showing us around his hometown Memphis!  And Britney, holy moly was she so cute and adorable!  So pretty too!!  After she showed us how to eat crawfish I had a dream about eating them, looks so yum!  And one of the older, unsuccessful Mouseketeers was saying how Britney was hot at eleven years old.  She actually was…  They were all so talented!
Anyway, so I failed.  Well I predict I will fail.  I missed the second deadline, so now I’m on negative twenty marks.  This is detrimental.  It weighs on my soul.  After the HSC had finished, I literally felt to light and free, not a care in the world.  So much more happy, like I had been when I was like twelve, so less cynical.  I even wrote a blog post about it!  I mean, I thought I might have changed for the sadder, but I had regained power!  Anyway, now I feel like shit again.  Everything is so out of hand!  One thing led to another, and now everything I’ve had to hand in so far has been late.  When I think about it, my first referencing tutorial participation assignment was late as well!  I had to run to class, arrived half an hour late because fuck you Fisher Library staff.
So yes, I think I’m looking at getting around maybe thirty to forty percent for this psychology essay, including deducted marks.  And that’s if I’m lucky.  I mean, if I’m really unrealistic and ignorant, I would just say, I’ll get full marks, and end up with a distinction.  But get real, me, you will never get full marks.  That’s not even a harsh statement (lol), I’m pretty sure full marks is a rarity.  I mean on actually important assessments.  Or maybe it is actually just me.  Anyway, my average has been seventy, so…  I’m looking at getting a pass, or fail.  Sigh pie.
I actually really want to buy some study drugs.  Not sure what they’re called yet, but that can easily be googled.  But then again, I have no income, so, yeah.  I can’t even buy drugs.  I’ve wondered recently whether my dad might condone my use of drugs if it were to help my studies.  But realistically, he wouldn’t.  He would say, you have to work hard.  And I must!  I wonder what extents it would take me to actually learn…  Meh.  Life is life.  Wait, don’t be complacent!  Well, I’m actually just thirsty.
I actually feel drunk.  I slept for five hours last night and still didn’t finish the essay, and it’s only a thousand words!!  Why, why?!?!  Yeah, I saw an ad on television that said if you’re awake for more than seventeen hours a day, basically, you’re drunk (lol).  So I’ve been trying to function and write an essay drunk.  I wonder how many mistakes there are in this blog post…  Should I not proof read it so you can count?  Nah, that just disrupts the flow.  Or maybe I will, as in I won’t proof read, I’ll decide late and let you know in the p.s.  Now I’m thinking I mightn’t even remember to put that in.  Oh fucking well.
I missed uni today, well skipped.  So I think-oh my fucking god, I’ve actually skipped all my tutes this week and didn’t even fucking finish the essay!!  THIS LIFE IS HOPELESS!!!  But I will say, I did miss the first one by accident…  Well, I’ll try to make it up tomorrow by going to all my lectures!  I want to go to this interfaculty pub crawl, I mean it sounds fun, but it’s such a hassle thinking of how I’m going to get home, so I don’t think I’ll go…  I’m so tired/drunk I’m just going to do what I don’t want to (insert sad face).  That was it.  That was what I didn’t want to do.
Oh life oh life oh life.  Am I Squidworth?  Is that even how you spell his name?  I can’t be bothered to even google it.  Google…  I just want to lie on top of a cloud and be done with the world.  I mean, I’d say uni, but then it kind of leaves my life pointless.  I mean, dragging my lardy body around all day, eating, not even delicious eating, just junk or healthy shit around the house.  Mehhhhhhhhhh.
I watched The Wanted’s new music video, it made me like the song more, especially the end where they’re singing the chorus with the…oh my god I don’t even remember what the thing that’s different from the chorus and verse is called!  I’m getting dumber every moment I’m alive!!  Or every moment I’m on the internet!!  Is venting making me less intellectual?!  Wow I seriously don’t remember.  Anyway, the boom boom part.  So I was thinking I’d write a ‘review’ of my fangirling of it, but then, yes, I realised I’m so not in that mood.  All the feels would be underscored if not overpowered by cynical, blurgh-ness.  Eugh.  Eugggghhhhhh.
Also, a note on Selena Gomez’s new music video, amazing cinematography.  The scenes were so incredibly beautiful and she herself was amazing and gorgeous.  What would’ve made the video more interesting and a thousand times better is if there was an actual story line, and maybe seeing the guys face…
I’m outta hurrrr,
Just Another Woo Girl
P.s.  I will proof read.  Also, I’m gonna take a break and try and cheer up with some SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!  Every time I laugh when I’m watching funny shows by myself I keep thinking of this thing I read which said: lonely people laugh a lot at things that aren’t that funny.  But I think it’s funny…but what if it isn’t that funny and I’m really just a loner?  (Lol).  So foonzay.
P.p.s.  Whilst proof reading I realised, it’s called the bridge!!!  THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR ME YET!!

Best dream ever

Last night I had the best dream ever.  I wrote out bits of it when I woke up, and when I had woken, I was in an incredibly emotional state.  You know those dreams, where so much happens, and you feel so connected and it feels so real, you wake up and your chest is beating and your breath is short?  Well that’s what happened to me when I had dreamt I’d met One Direction and The Wanted.

Oh gosh, well I actually didn’t get to meet The Wanted in my dream.  Which may be because I have already met them in real life (oh my god).  And so it begins, well the parts that I remember, I am walking out of this building.  For some reason, the setting is similar to that of my local shopping centre, and where my tutoring building is, but I didn’t realise this in my dream, and a lot of things about it were different.  Anyway, so I’m walking down the stairs to leave the building, and I know, because I saw and heard them, that One Direction are walking down the stairs behind me.  And being the normal person I am, I play it cool, and continue to walk down.

I leave the building and turn my head back slightly, just to peek, and they are walking a different direction, possibly, so I turn and walk that way.  I turn around for some reason to meet them, maybe they’d said something.  But it was the most amazing moment in my dream history ever.  Harry walks up to me to have a hug, but instead of aiming his arms over my own, because that’s the friend hug, he aims them around my waist!  Yeah, best moment of my life.  Harry Styles.  And then I hug the rest of the boys, and they are so sweet.  It’s all a blur really.  I have this thing, and I suppose all fangirls do, is that I really like to take photos when I meet celebrities (not that I often meet them, sadly), just to have a memory and something tangible to look at, rather than a memory that becomes faded and moulded over time.  Though, the thing with taking pictures is that, I think, it’s so hard to do.  I mean, you have to meet them, say hi, and then ask for a picture, and the picture has to be good, and so on.  But I just love pictures because they truly capture memories and feelings, likewise with music.  I love the feeling of listening to a song, and having it take you on a journey back in time, feeling the same feelings that you had felt listening to that very same song four years ago.  It’s amazing.

Anyway, the great feeling that I had in this dream was, I didn’t need to take photos!  There were cameras all around us taking the pictures of this amazing moment for me!  Five boys, five hugs, amazing.  Though, it still was a dream.

Time past, somehow, somewhere, and I ended up in the car park.  I may or may not have ridden the elevator with One Direction, not sure.  And we were no longer in the setting of my current local Westfield, but back to Westfield Marion in Adelaide, where I had lived when I was young.  I’m in the car park, it’s dark, as usual, but the ceilings are high, which is kind of unusual for a car park, and there are sterile fluorescent lights above, but it wasn’t so bright that it was cold and bleak, it was slightly dim but I could still see everything clearly.

And then, I saw Jay in the car!  It was a four wheel drive kind of car, and he was sitting in the back, with maybe other people, like management, but I don’t remember the rest of the band in there.  I saw him, and he saw me, and then I got in the car and we drove down the sunset road.  Kidding.  This is the part where, I tell you what happened, instead.  I saw him, and he saw me, as I said, and being excited, I wanted to meet him!  But I had to walk around the car and other cars, for some off reason, to make it to his car door.  Even though, I was looking at him directly through the front window, so technically I could’ve just walked straight toward him…  Anyway, so I walk around, and he’s gone!  He’s not in the car anymore!  He is crouching just outside the car door, ducking.  Trying to run away.  (Wow, I really don’t like this image of Jay running away from me, but I suppose it’s funny, because I’m crazy – I’m actually not crazy.  I wasn’t even crazy when I met him.)  Yeah, so he was trying to hide so he wouldn’t have to hug me!  So sad, even though he has hugged me in real life (win).

So then he says, something along the lines of, “I didn’t want to hug you because I ate onions so my breath stinks.”

And then I went on to say, “I hate The Wanted!!  And I hate you!!!”

Yes, as you can see, I was extremely passionate in my retelling of the story, though in the dream, I was extremely passionate and extremely emotional.

I turned back and got into the elevator (I walked straight, yes straight to the elevator, meaning I didn’t even need to walk around).  And started ranting to someone in the elevator, and crying, not sure who it was though…  And that’s most evidently why I woke up in such a wretched, breathless state.  Crying in dreams makes you really emotional.  Actually, I ended up waking up, and crying in real life.  Pathetic.

So is it because I’d already met The Wanted in real life, that I didn’t get to meet them in my dream? In order to not be greedy?  Does that mean I won’t meet them ever again?  My dreams of befriending Jay, especially, may have been crushed…  Actually, Jay said in an interview that he would date a girl who used to be a big fan of The Wanted, so I guess that could be me, three years time…

What’s the point in that?
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s.  I wish I could be one of those people who could control their dreams.  Maybe I’ll try it tonight.  But I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to…

Burping

Red Bull is like a lifeline, that seems to really not be working at the moment.  It simply cannot overpower my need to watch The Wanted videos on YouTube.

Anyway, it’s fizzy for some reason.  I didn’t shake it.  It may have gotten fizzy while I was walking, but that’s, stupid.  Can you get rid of the bubbles without opening the can?  Actually, pretty sure, I just remembered you can tap the bottom of the can, or bang the open can on the desk…

Well it’s bloody annoying, because I enjoy the taste of Red Bell and would like to drink it.  But it’s giving me so much gas (lol), not the back end, luckily.  Is burping really just farting through your mouth?  Yeah, I don’t even want to think about it.  Rank times a billion.

Yeah I keep burping.

Laterz,
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s.  Just changed the name of my post to burping.  Burping is such an ugly and disgusting word.  Burp.

Super smelling powers

You know how they say if you lack in one area, you exceed in another?  For example, we have Stevie Wonder, the blind musical master, he’s blind (like I said) yet his musical talents are unmet, it’s amazing. Another, less contemporary, hold on…  So I thought Beethoven cut off his ear, but that was Van Gogh, and then I thought he was deaf, but that was when he was much older…

Anyway, you get the point?  Well, since I am legally blind, no just short sighted with really bad vision, I believe I have gained a super smelling powers!  It’s true, I can smell everything, food, and tasting food, or the botanic gardens flowers from a mile away…

But having super smelling powers isn’t all that it seems.  I mean, smell isn’t all that important, having average smell doesn’t hinder our daily performance, and having enhanced smelling capabilities doesn’t have many benefits.  Though I have to say, having that pungent smell swooping in from an unknown destination is just so intriguing…

Though this is not a wish to have no sense of smell at all!  I enjoy nice scents…
Love from TWFamily,
Just Another Woo Girl
P.s.  Can’t stop listening to The Wanted and Bieber.

Poop-crastinating

They say the first step is always the hardest.  That’s exactly how I feel about studying right now.  It’s no exaggeration that I am obsessed with The Wanted right now.  It was the same with One Direction, it’s the most intense in the first few months, when you can’t think of anything else and just want to know everything there is to know about them.  Unlucky for me, this time period is occurring right now, in the middle of my trials.

It’s like an addiction.  I suppose I could say that I am quite an intense person, and when I like something, I like it, but when I love it, I loooooovvvvveeeee it.  It’s an infatuation.  An addiction.

For music, it’s happened to me (the most intensely) with Hannah Montana and Miley, the Jonas Brothers, One Direction, and now The Wanted.  Yes, the prior named are quite the generic eleven year old music tastes, but I will be I, and thou will be thou.

It’s also a reason why I don’t think I want to ever even try a cigarette, on the risk that I might become addicted to smoking.  I’ve been watching Mad Men a lot, I watched the first four seasons in less than two weeks, and every time a character is stressed on the show, oop, out pops the smokes.  They look rather classy whilst doing it as well, probably because the women who smoke are absolutely gorgeous, and the men (oh god Don Draper) are completely sexy as well.  And it made me think, wouldn’t everything be better if I could just do something like that on the side of everything I do?  What I mean to say is, what if I could do something like smoking, whilst reading, or doing work, or something extremely mundane.  I guess it’s like drinking alcohol while working, and those things are forbidden nowadays.

Because as I’m sitting here, I have wasted a whole day with no progress whatsoever on my studies, and I was thinking, maybe it would be more fun if I could smoke whilst doing it?  But the thing is, I don’t actually want to smoke, I just want to have that something to do that I can do when doing other things.  I mean, back in the fifties it was cool and everyone was all worried about nuclear war and the end of the world, so their stresses seemed to piled on top of an already unstable world.  But now, when I see people smoking, on the street or what not, I don’t really think much of it, it doesn’t make you cooler, it doesn’t make you less cool, well maybe it makes me think, “hmmm watch out for lung cancer…”.  What I mean to say is, nowadays smoking isn’t as normalised, maybe it’s because I don’t see it that often.

Wow, I’m touching my hair and it’s really clean because I washed it….

You know what, even this blog is a means of procrastination, and I really need help with procrastinating.  I really cannot will myself to take the first step, I can already envisage if I do, I will end up going backwards anyway.  I guess that’s a bad state of mind, I should think positively, and believe in my self control!  Oh what the hell, I can’t exactly pep talk myself.  People around try to pep talk me, and sometimes it even works, but usually I’m just like, okay, and continue with my self-harming-procratsination.  Well I guess I truly am stubborn, I mean I always knew I was, but I don’t really listen until I’ve experienced it myself.  And even when I do, I seem to just to do it again anyway…

I seriously need a comfy couch in my room.  I’ve moved my bed diagonally into the centre of my room to be closer to my desk and heater to initiate some sort of study.  It hasn’t work.

Though if I think positively, it hasn’t worked… As of yet.

Corn fields,
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s.  I wrote the title after this ramble, it really had nothing to do with poop.  Much to your disappointment I assume.

When you want to sing but you can’t

As you may have realised, I am having a bit of an emotional crisis (okay, crisis is an exaggeration, but an emotional mood swing) at the moment.  And, just on a side note that will make more sense further on in this post, my friends and I got Ed Sheeran tickets!

Anyway, so in this emotional state of mine, listening to Ed Sheeran’s album + and The Wanted, and Justin Bieber’s Believe, I’ve had this intense feeling enveloped inside me.  Sometimes I mistake it for sadness and feeling down (which it partly is), but now I realise that it’s also, the pent up frustration of wanting to SING OUT LOUD MY FEELINGS THROUGH THEIR SONGS!  But having the looming fact hanging above my head, that I know not the lyrics as of yet.

So, as my heart wrenches from the intense melodies and lyrics, I cannot simply join in and sing my heart out but half sing the melody and words and change them mid note/word which is frustrating as I am not singing along properly, and fully emphasising my true inner feelings!  Also, I can’t sing out loud right now because both my parents are sleeping…

But I simply love this music, mixed with my emotional state that I believe plays a semi-important part, now I have no idea where this sentence was going.  Probably something like, I love them, those stated before, and they make me feel amazing and so happy I could cry!  It’s like Taylor Swift songs, she who I love, and songs which I love, which captures every feeling and moment in a teenager’s life, a life such as mine!  I used to think, I guess my thoughts on this hasn’t really changed, but her song Back to December basically encapsulated my feelings of the time I was listening to it, heartbreak, regret, and etc. list a lot of generic hormonal teenager feelings.

Current favourites (though I must say, I love all the songs on these albums).  On a side note, the British seem to do everything better.  Coldplay, The Wanted, One Direction, Ed Sheeran, The Script…  Australia, we kind of suck, no offence, our music is quite…not great.  I mean, I loved Delta’s old stuff, and Reece Mastin’s songs are so catchy I love them, and I love Missy Higgins new song (though not at first).

My iPod is made up of a gazillion playlists, because how can you seriously listen to just ‘songs’ and go through however many songs you have.  I currently have 1481 songs on my iPod, and am listening to my Just Added 21 playlist.

Songs you should listen to:
1.  Gold Forever – The Wanted
2.  Warzone – The Wanted
3.  Battlefield by The Wanted (album)
4.  The Wanted (album)
5.  Catching Feelings – Justin Bieber
6.  Out of Town Girl – Justin Bieber
7.  Say it on the Radio – The Wanted
8.  Heart Vacancy – The Wanted
9.  Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran
10.  Autumn Leaves – Ed Sheeran

Basically just the whole albums.

Ciao,
Just Another Woo Girl

Pre-menstrual syndrome

So I’ve been told that this moody behavior occurs before have your period, but I believe that I suffer from the rare post-menstrual syndrome.  For the past few days, I suppose it was definitely induced by my absolutely amazing meet and greet, hug and love with my lovely Jay McGuiness from The Wanted, but I’ve been extremely emotional.  It’s rather hard to be this emotional, it’s just, so hard.  It’s not just emotional, but I could be supposedly moody or slightly bipolar…

I was just having a dinner with my parents and a family friend that I haven’t seen (nor remember) since I was four or five, around ten years ago.   And she was asking me about what subjects I do at school.    So I told her, I do 2 units of maths, 4 units of English, textiles and design, and Music 1, where I sing.   My mum was smiling at me whilst I told her, smiling of embarrassment.   It’s quite sad, I felt like crying, it’s like, this is me, and that’s what I’m good at and love (exempt maths).

To make things worse, she comes from Perth, so she didn’t understand Sydney’s education system, so my dad explained to her how it works (it’s set in units, so I do ten, which is the minimum) and went on to say, “Yeah, she doesn’t do biology, or chemistry, or physics, or biology, or sciences, or chemistry…” intercepted by my mother who says, “Just say science. She doesn’t do any sciences.”.  It makes me feel so sad I want to cry, why can’t you just be proud of who your daughter is, can’t you be happy that you had one daughter who did all those subjects and is now going on to study medicine?  And this isn’t the first time that they’ve openly portrayed their disappointment in me, they usually do it when family friends are over and ask about school and what I do, as like a, “Yeah she only does those things, but we, like you, think that her subjects are for dummies too.”  It’s so embarrassing, especially for the friend who obviously cannot say “Yeah, those subjects are for idiots.”  Though some of them do say that (inadvertently).

So am I being over-emotional?  I can’t really say.  I can’t really decide whether what I’m feeling is allowed or is just me sulking and feeling sorry for myself, am I allowed to sulk in this situation?   Is this sulk worthy?  Because, I’m not dying, or suffering from an incurable disease, nor am I being abused or horribly treated.   But can I get some respect for what I do?

I don’t know.  After meeting Jay I just feel, so happy that I’m sad, that I want to cry from overload of happiness.  Though, I’m not sure.  Because sometimes when I’m really happy, I’m just happy, there’s no sadness or crying.   But there was this one time when we had a substitute teacher for maths (our usual math teacher is really, not great at communicating his mathematical ideas to his class, if I say so in a nice way), and this sub (in comparison, like the saying goes, you don’t know what you got till its gone) was amazing.  I understood everything she said, and I was literally welling up, inside and out.  My eyes were brimming with tears of happiness from this.  I guess it was because I’d been subject to such bad teaching for a prolonged period of time and this was just, an oxygen tank of fresh air whilst flying in space.

Was this moment where I cried of happiness, even happier than when I didn’t cry of happiness?  That’s the question.  Because when I didn’t cry of happiness, when I was just happy from excitement and euphoria, I was just, happy in young love.

It’s the same when I think back to yesterday when I met Jay, I just want to cry from happiness.   But I guess it might just be that time of month, where I become a vampire and my emotions are heightened by a gazillion…

Though, some tv show or film told me not to blame my moodiness and actions on my menstrual cycle, because that is anti-feminist and degrades our female gender.  Actually, funnily enough, that was my English teacher who said that.  Good ‘ol Kenners.

I love you McGuiness,
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s.  I love Gold Forever by The Wanted, it’s been stuck in my head, it’s just such a heartfelt and fun song that makes your heart fly up from you chest and into the sky, it’s completely euphoric and nostalgic at the same time.  And when I listen to it, it just reminds me of meeting Jay and how amazing it was, and how I didn’t get to say the things I wanted to say like, you’re amazing, and I love you.  I literally said, “Hi Jay, can I have a hug?”  And he said, “of course, come here” (or something like that, then told me he liked my jumper).  And then after asking and getting a photo with his gorgeousness, I said, “thank you!”  God, I just let him slip away, didn’t even say anything.  I wanted to let the other girls have a turn (yeah lol), I didn’t want to take up too much of him time.  Mistake.  Oh well…

Meeting The Wanted: Euphoria and melancholy

So between my last exam and the next I have a break of six days, in which to study, prepare, and make notes for the last few of my exams.  Today is the first day of this long awaited honeymoon break from assessments, and so far, I believe, I have been most productive.

I.  Just.  Met.  The Wanted.

Well, I suppose I didn’t exactly meet all of them, but I met Jay!  And got close to Siva and Max!  I’ll tell you about our connections, after I rave about the Jay and I’s intimate moment.

So please, brace yourselves for the ultimate fangirl moment.

And he is simply the most adorable guy ever!  His hair is all curly and cute, he was wearing this blue denim shirt over a white singlet, so gorgeous!  I think I have a thing for guys with good mops of hair, Harry Styles…  Hot Trinity Guy… I got to hug him and he said, “I like your jumper!”  You like my jumper you say?  Well I love you!  Sadly, just before the boys came out to meet fans my iPod ran out of battery, this was probably the most devastating moment in my adolescent life.  Just, the very moment they come out, I go to turn on my camera, and the screen, lies blank.  I basically had an anxiety breakdown, luckily Amy had her phone.  And then I got a photo with Jay!  He is so sweet, he was holding all his gifts, a bag of skittles, a kangaroo scrotum, and kangaroo toy, and he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight!  It was amazing!  I love how he was rubbing my arm, making me feel wanted!  I’m so glad that there weren’t many people waiting outside!  I had my arm around his waist and made the most of this crazily amazing encounter!  I still feel disbelief, I cannot believe it!

Here’s a picture of Jay and I!

Me and Jay from The Wanted!

Rewind to the beginning of this ultimately productive day, as of almost three hours ago, as I am writing this post.

Thinking we wouldn’t be very long, I turned up at around eight to see The Wanted on Sunrise.  There weren’t many people there, so Amy and I stood at the corner waiting at the window.  There were older women waiting too (funny).  And after about half an hour, they came out!  They sat on six stools in the far corner with their guitarist Brian (whom I also got a photo with) and were playing around.  Most of the people around us were old women, they were just standing and watching, not really fangirling like myself.  Anyway, I was waving frantically every time they looked over and then finally, MAX WAVED BACK!!!  Max waved back to me!!  Oh he is so gorgeous!!

They continued on with the interview and performance (couldn’t really tell through the sound proof windows) and then Tom looked out into the window I was standing at and make a thumbs up (or gnarly) sign and so I waved back at him, AND THEN HE WAVED BACK AT ME TOO!!

And then afterwards (it’s all becoming a blur of amazingness right now) NATHAN WAVED AT US TOO!!!  Such gorgeous boys, actually, gorgeous men!!  Oh how I am fangirling in utter disbelief right now.

After the interview ended Amy and I tried to go to the car park exit, but it turned out that they weren’t leaving yet!  They were going to do the Morning Show as well!  So in between this point, we got photos with Koshi and were on television in the background waving!  We went to the State Library to alter our outfits and put out stuff into a locker.  Pretty devastated that I didn’t wear something nicer today, figuring I’d be studying most of the time (obviously not, as I am sitting here still euphoric in the State Library over The Wanted…).

We went back, went around to the other side and they came to the window and signed to the fans!  I recorded this.  Then Max pointed to the couch so we’d know, and I ran back to the other side and I got a front row view!!  I was right in the middle of the window with the clearest view you could get of the boys and the boys of me!!  It was amazing, I filmed the whole interview even though you couldn’t hear anything (the regret building up in me now), and I was also on television!!  So amazing!!  My vocabulary has gone down to an eleven year old girl’s!!  Oh my god.

They turned around and looked at the fans a few times during the interview (oh Max…).  And once the interview had finished, they came to the window and signed to the fans!!  Oh my gosh!!  Most major moment was when Max literally made eye contact with me and was like eye talking to me (I’m not exaggerating, I have a video, yes!!) and it was amazing!!  He pointed and smiled and looked at me in the eyes!!  We had a very amazing moment!!  It was incredible!!!!!  I have not been so close to celebrity, absolutely amazing!!!

Then afterwards, they came out to MEET the fans!!  And that’s when I got a photo and hugged and loved and spoke to Jay!!!  I love him so much, dear Jay, marry me?

And then, the sad ending to the story, we tried to wait and talk, hug, and get a photo with Siva, but he was talking to other fans.  Something I’ve learnt, I absolutely have to say something and get their attention first!  Because we were waiting for him to turn to us…  So then we went to Max instead, but, oh my gosh, so devastating, I didn’t get to get a photo with Max…  Saddest moment in my life, I can’t even describe it.  My heart was welling up, and my stomach dropped, I felt so sick…  Amy got a photo with Max though, oh my gosh, he looks like a little possum (a cute possum) with beautiful green eyes, he is so beautiful, fathomness fathomed.

Yeah so pretty embarrassing, they had to leave and get in their car, and I cried.  Yeah, I cried.  Well, that’s just life isn’t it.

What an emotional roller coaster, whilst writing this post, I have a mix of emotions…  Euphoria, melancholy, anxiety, excitement, depression…  That’s what you get for being a fangirl.

The Wanted!!!

Love from,
Just Another Woo Girl

P.s.  There was a super annoying ugly ass bitch who kept turning around and mumbling shit to herself whilst I was fangirling.  The question is, why the fuck are you here is you’re not going to get excited?  No you menopausal douche bag.

P.p.s.  Max lifted his shirt up revealing his delectable abs… Oh my god…  I swoon for this man.